Henry Kissmyassworld was visited by three ghosts during the night … Well, no, just one ghost. Or maybe he was real. Henry’s not sure, and really hopes it was just a dream, go back to sleep, the sun will shine again upon the morn … Satan walked…
Henry Kisserpisser turned 100 years old today and the entire population of Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia couldn’t be happier, (and Chile and Argentina and Bangladesh … so much horror, the horror) because it means he’s closer to death! That thing which h…
USA - Exit polls conducted by MSNBC Monday determined that Trump will not become President after all. Ms. Aroma Pour, veteran reporter with MSNBC, interviewed a Mr. Trey Tour, one of the exiting Electors. According to Tour, the CIA visited the E...
HEADLINES KIM KARDASHIAN ROCKED UP TO RIHANNA'S FIRST DIAMOND BALL BENEFIT IN A PLUNGING LEOTARD WITH MESH NETTING. Friends say this is a radical departure for her. Kim has also been made an offer by Air Canada to model her bum for new hot air balloon. MOTHER OF NINETEEN CHILDREN VOWS "NEVER TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN". FRANK BRUNO GIVEN ALL CLEAR BY DOCTORS TO RESUME BOXING... BUT MAY HAVE T...
Ex-Pope Ratzinger is recuperating well after an emergency exorcism was performed on him. Eight exorcists, three of them Cardinals from Africa, Germany and Ireland spent seven weeks, seven hours and seven minutes casting out demons from the ex-Pontif...
We met Dr. Henry Kissinger during a brief visit to Washington's Grand Masonic Lodge where he was guest of honour recently for his sterling work on behalf of the New World Order. We asked him some searching questions: "Is it true that you were a Soviet Spy?" He laughed: "No, of course not. The rumour came about because I was giving military secrets to the Soviet Union." "How do you loo...
The disqualification of Britain's Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls for cheating during Sunday's final day Bilderberg annual golfing competition means original runner-up, 90 year old Henry Kissinger has now been declared the official winner. 'I suspecte...
Unprecedented security measures at this week's Bilderbog bash near Watford have failed to stop US radio host Alex Jones from finding a way in. Mr Jones, though eventually caught and promptly thrown out managed to spend nearly hours inside the grou...
Naypyidaw - Charismatic Myanmar President Thein Sein who is currently on a European tour could be critical to resolving the nuclear crisis emerging on the Korean Peninsula says American singer Katy Perry. On Thursday Pyongyang issued a warning to...
88 year old former US Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, got a taste of his first TSA pat down. This occurred while going to Toronto to try to negotiate a ceasefire between the Miami Heat's shooting guard Dwayne Wade and his coach Erik Spoelstra.
BILLINGSGATE POST - Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger once said that, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." If this is true, why should we have to pay our presidents if they spend most of their time screwing interns and playing golf? They sh...
Last night's edition of 21st Century Schizoid Britain's Got Talent was definitely the best yet. Judges Pol Pot, Richard Nixon and Bono were simply knocked out by the array of talent on show at the Stevenage Unspecified Meat Products Abbatoir. P...
New York - Wearing an 80 pound back pack and carrying an M16, Dr. Henry Kissinger was last seen boarding a military transport bound for the staging area (classified location) for the Libya invasion. Just prior to departing, Dr. Kissinger, panting from the exertion at his advanced age, held a brief press conference on the tarmac. His statement is given below. For years we have tried...
In this version of the musical, Henry Higgins, er, Henry Kissinger trains Eliza Doolittle, er, Sarah Palin, to dance political Cha Cha at the upcoming Debate Ball. Kissinger's goal is to cause the inexperienced woman to look sophisticated and worldly. She has memorized 200 flash cards in anticipation of her first training session with Kissinger. It's a cool, quiet afternoon somewhere in...
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, made famous by the many stories written about them by this author, are to perform a one-off behind-closed-doors 'show' for one of their all-time biggest fans, the former US Secretary of State, Dr Henry Kissinger. D...
Sarah Palin Runner up Beauty Queen from frigid Alaska had her passport cherry broken this week by her elopement to the Meking Delta with Henry Kissinger. The question: I wonder whose Kissinger now may very well have been answered by the apocalyps...
The hotly anticipated new invention from those boys in silicon valley has now arrived - the telephone! With this ingenious device you can speak to someone else who is not in earshot. they might even be in the next village.
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