American helicopter parents are applauding a nationwide trend toward family restrooms.
It was reported by the Office of Materialistic Studies (OMS), that many college campuses would offer helicopter pads for their student body and parents to use. Helicopter pads would be installed on top of student dormitories to add to the school'...
Famed British actor and comedian, John Cleese announced his retirement today to a crowd in London. The famous actor who once was expelled from College after painting footsteps from a statue of the school's founder to a nearby toilet, said he had...
Students at Buckley E. Filbertamous Middle School turned in Science Fair projects last week and were judged today by a panel of nuns. "This is the school's first year having the contest in about five years," said sister Mary Elephant.
Spurred by a growing immigrant population in the United States and a push to teach children foreign languages at an earlier age, toymakers and consumers are going bilingual, especially Spanish. Spanish speaking "Dora the Conquistador" Dolls...
"The Godfather of Soul," James Brown, wound up his post mortem tour this afternoon in Columbia, South Carolina as family members awaited the arrival of his body and entourage. Family members, afraid that someone will steal his gold casket,...
Satirist King David was surprised on Valentines Day after his longtime girlfriend and live-in companion, Demi Moore dislocated her middle finger trying to take her pants off after dinner. Both Moore and David were looking forward to a long night of p...
Despite admonitions from friends and family, the downtrodden Britney Spears made plans to ride America's first topless airline, American Spread Eagle. "I've tried everything else, I may as well try this one," the despairing Spears s...
Britney Spears, trying to get her life together, appeared to be doing the right thing today by hiring British nanny and London cross-dresser, umbrella flyer Fairy Poppins to care for her two sons, Sean Preston (17 mo.) and Jayden James (5 mo.). It wa...
Genealogists today linked pop diva Britney Spears with the wicked witch of the East from The Wizard of Oz. The wicked witch of the East was the one who was killed in the beginning of the story after Dorothy's Kansas home fell on her and left her...
In the same vein that PBS children's show, Between the Lions is designed to promote reading amongst children, Britney Spears will now host her own television puppet show. It will be called Between the Panty Lines and it will be...
Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan, in an effort to get rid of their addictions to men and alcohol, enrolled in rehabilitation therapy at a West Hollywood rehabilitation clinic today. "Tres Spoof Chicas" as they are aff...
As many parents landed their helicopters on the decks of the USS Abraham Lincoln located in the Persian Gulf this morning, a sterling initiative was sparked by the president and the new, Democratic Congress. "Helicopter parents" wh...
In very disturbing news today, the official keeper of words, Wally Rostincowski reported that the word, vagina was missing from the dictionary. Rostincowski, a linguist from Oxford University and world word record holder of the most...
The two young men arrested for placing electronic advertising around the city of Boston on Wednesday were charged with misdemeanor offenses today and were sentenced by a Boston judge to poll dancing for 38 straight hours in Boston Common.
A "helicopter mom" crashed through the glass ceiling of her son's job interview today demanding higher salary and benefits for her hen-pecked son. As Albert E. Neuman, younger brother to Alfred, spoke with interviewers at Chase Manh...
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