A man who has taken to an extreme, the governments advice to constantly keep hands clean, and wash them at every opportunity, has said that his hands are currently the cleanest in southeast Asia. Moys Kenwood, 56, who used to be a teacher until hi...
The phrase "I know it like the back of my hand" is one often used to indicate that the speaker knows something very well, indeed, but one man, this weekend, had to re-evaluate his use of it, when he realized he didn't really know the back of his hand...
A man in Coventry has confided to friends that he is amongst that elite group of people who have been blessed with the ability to perform manual tasks with both hands - that is, either right or left - with equal skill. The ability to use both han...
Last week, 34-year-old Ben Higgins of Nashville, Tennessee, started to say, "But on the other hand," only to realize that he had no idea how to finish the sentence. "My left hand didn't know what my right one was doing," said Higgins. "Total clust...
Images have surfaced on a satirical news website of a male member of the human race who, quite unconventionally, is the owner of two right hands. Most humans are born with one right hand and one left hand, but a writer on TheSpoof.com noticed that...
Tired about constantly being the butt of people's barbed wit, a left hand has taken the trouble to find out just what its right counterpart is doing, and this has had immediate success at one motor car parts manufacturing company in Denver. Staff...
Advisors to the President, Ms. Haley among them, have come forward to suggest Mr. Trump settle any lingering doubts on matters related to overall potency in running The Oval Office. The rumor that Mr. Trump has small hands needs putting into persp...
Following her trip to newly installed American dictator Donald Trump, Theresa May's next voyage abroad will be to Pyongyang to schmooze with chubby psycho Kim Jong-Un. It is hoped that similarly weak British diplomacy will pay off with the greasy-pal...
Donald Trump may never have to be ridiculed about his hands again. Students at the University of Arizona's Robotics Division, appalled at the sheer amount of verbal and written abuse toward Donald's deformity, decided to do something about it. Du...
A super fan of Uma Thurman is suing Makerbot, as his newly purchased Replicator broke down when it was asked to create the hands of a life-size mannequin of Uma Therman. Jimmy Jackson of Boston Massachusetts claims to be Uma Thurman's biggest fan...
"I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't taken all those self-defense classes Bill had me attending at nights while he was working late at the White House on one thing or another", stated former First Lady, Hillary Clinton. Clinton, who ma...
Doctor and Gambol, the UK's largest manufacturer of non-edible creams, have announced the results of a study into moisturising that has come up with some remarkable conclusions. "We discovered that people tend to moisturise using just their writin...
The thin man with bruised knuckles had sprawled out across a vintage creaky green and yellow plaid La-Z-Boy with one knee slightly bent so his bare feet could avail themselves of every last square inch of fully extended footrest. Lounging in a wife beater tee and duck patterned boxers, the mid life crisis poster child was nothing more than an unlikely American tourist turned writer who found hims...
A Spanish woman has been acquitted by a Spanish court of murdering her husband on the grounds of recently discovering that she has hands. Carla Santiago (32, Spanish, has hands) had described Dr Sanchez Moldova as her guardian angel for identifyi...
A cannibal has today inadvertently, and inappropriately, eaten his own left hand. Edgar Triggs was in court, over the alledged offence of consuming his neighbour Cyril Betts, 84, for letting his cat defecate in the Oxford man's garden, when the in...
ORLANDO, Florida - Florida highway patrol officers want to talk to golfer Tiger Woods more than ever after a fall from a trellis at his home landed him right back in the hospital early Sunday morning, this time with more serious injuries, said offici...
Italian scientists believe that they have successfully created the first ever artificial wank hand. Previous attempts led to users complaining of a lack of feeling. Now Professor Luigi Crackoneoffi says such problems are a thing of the past. "We have...
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