Leader of the House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is set to spend his 12th successive Christmas struggling to get the lid off a jar of chilli and onion chutney that his wife bought in 2006, to go with the cold meat and mashed potatoes on Boxing Day.
Eton has raised twenty Prime Ministers including Boris Johnson. It has produced countless more posh open-mouthed shit-for-brains parasites, and, as such, has played a crucial role in destroying the myth of meritocracy in the UK for centuries. The...
Following the example of Bangladesh the British Government is setting out it's programme to cut out regulation and red tape. David Cameron announced his proposals to outdo UKIP at the local elections. Senior Tories think he is onto a huge vote win...
Serious questions are being asked about the educational record of Prime Minister David Cameron. This after he was foxed by simple questions by American TV host David Letterman. Cameron spent his school years at Eton College a school which makes Latin...
Sexy, flame haired, femme fatale Rebekah Brooks is to star as a modern day Rebecca in an updated film version of the classic Daphne Du Maurier melodrama. The blockbuster movie, Last Night I Went To Wapping Again, will be directed by talented neig...
Here is an extract from David Cameron's book "My Chums At Eton", which describes his time at the famous public school. "What ho! It's me, your chum and Prime Minister. I've removed my top hat, loosened my braces, and asked my butler to leave me in peace for a while so I can get down to writing a spiffing whizz-bang story about all the japes I got up to in my schooldays. I bet you can't wait to...
There is the old adage about a policeman's whistle. The sound of it either brings you comfort or fear. If you are comfortable in the first place it is reassuring to know that you are being protected from the revolutionary hordes - but if you are of a category that immediately causes the police to be suspicious you fear the sound of a police whistle. Now the Tories know which side of the fen...
A grim Headmaster, followed by his staff walked into the school assembly and went onto the stage so they could look down on the uneasy crowd of boys beneath them. 'Someone has been lying and no one will leave this room until I find out who it was' brayed the Headmaster. Silence. 'Come on I know who you are. You just have to have the guts to admit it!' 'It could be me, Sir' piped a frig...
David Cameron may be on the eve of his greatest triumph or worst disaster, but come what may there is no doubt in the minds of his former schoolmates that he was the best Head Boy they ever had. Lord Scopolamine of Bahookie recalls the Tory hopef...
In a speech, written by Bojo, Boris Johnson, Hairbrush Dave, recalled his fondness for his years spent at top Public School, Eton. Reminiscing about his days as a fag, he massaged his bum continuously. "If we stepped out of line, or when the S...
The latest Conservative plans for cut backs on government expenses have received mixed reactions. George Osborne today told the full meeting hall in Manchester about his scheme to rule from Eton, so that Westminster can be done up and rented out to J...
David Cameron has admitted to having the odd fag at Eton. Fagging is no longer practiced in Britain's public schools, but was a system where younger pupils were required to act as servants, or fags, to the older boys. Now, Mr Jeremy Sniverley-Minc...
A mother who lied on an application form to get her son into a better school has had the fraud case against her dropped by Harrow Council. Mrinal Patel claimed that her son was white in order to get him into the prestigious Harrow School. Other disc...
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