APALACHICOLA, Florida - (Satire News) - The former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. was in Apalachicola getting an estimate on botox to his gonads (balls). Trump says that he has just gotten fed up with his tiny pea-size testicles, which Melania…
LOS ANGELES - (Sports Satire) - In a move that has every Los Angeles Lakers fan jumping ecstatically for joy, the Lakers have just signed the very first Eskimo to ever play in the National Basketball League. Team owner Jeanie Buss, said that she p…
MOSCOW – (Satire News) – The Kremlin has issued a statement that Russia’s KGB found 273 Eskimos from Alaska living in the Chukchi Sea town of Port Comrade. The agents said that the Eskimos appeared to be in fairly good spirits, except for 13 of th…
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin has just showed the world that she knows as much about volcanoes as she does about geography. The failed 2008 GOP vice-presidential candidate, who also quit as governor of Alaska in the middle of her term, recently st...
Cancellation of the UK Antarctic Drilling project was confirmed as the team arrived back to the UK. The controversial plan was to reduce the ice of the Antarctic to the consistency of slush by pumping different flavoured sauces into the ice, allow...
Nudist lovers in San Francisco where the weather tends to be slightly kinder to the naked body than Alaska, Greenland, Iceland, Siberia, etc, are claiming that nudity in public means "free speech". The San Francisco authorities have passed legisla...
SNOWBALLS, Alaska - The government of Alaska has been asked by the Eskimo population of the village of Snowballs to address a situation that is becoming more and more serious. A spokesperson for Alaska's Northern Eskimos identified as Fafanook Vap...
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - The city of Anchorage is known for its dog sled races, snowmobiling, snow, Polar Pale Ale Beer, kayaking, snow, rafting, being home to the largest Eskimo igloo in the world, and snow. It is also home to The Annual Salmon Mating Ritual Festival & Parade. The event is one of the year's greatest celebrations and is attended by every citizen of the city. But this year a g...
Dear Sir, I was fascinated to read in your magazine, about three years ago (I can't remember exactly when), about the days of the British Empire and some of the great characters of those times. But why did you not mention my ancestor William Plumstone, the man who introduced the porcelain eggcup to the Headhunters of Sarawak? Despite being warned numerous times, William had the courage to...
North Pole - Santa will be short-handed going into the last phases of toy build-out this year. It seems that a hunting party of Inuits shot four of Santa's elves, mistakenly identifying the elves as seals. Nanook, the head of the hunting party,...
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart visited Eskimos in Alaska yesterday as part of a plan to see if everybody in the World knew who they were. After speaking to dozens of Eskimos in their Igloos it became quite clear in fact 100% clear Eskimos...
ARCTIC VILLAGE, Alaska - CNN has just learned that all of the 20,000 votes that were cast by Alaskan Eskimos in the presidential election, were all cast for Barack Obama. When Governor Sarah Palin was first informed that not one Alaskan citizen of...
DEADHORSE, Alaska - Election pundits, experts, advisers, and consultants are projecting that Sarah Palin will definitely help John McCain carry Alaska's Eskimo vote. According to the experts, there had been some concern early on in the presidenti...
The Inuit Ice god, One with Cold cock, has been revealed as the Wasilly Bible Church's local deity. As in many of the cultural collisions between native and missionary religion, the Wasilly Bible Church follows the indigenous animism of the Inuit...
Congressman Ron Paul is hoping that Eskimos will be the one voter bloc with whom he can claim a clear win on Super Tuesday. While Eskimos are notorious for their unpredictability in choosing presidential candidates, early indications suggest that the...
Today, an Eskimo admitted that he sold his sanity to fund an ice melting machine.
Alaska - A red faced White House was today trying to extricate its self from the latest in a long line of verbal gaffes and scandals, the president's Tourette's has thrust them into.
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