The Cabinet Secretary’s secretary (no relation) has issued a strong warning that in future, before anyone with a funny name is appointed to ministerial position the Cabinet Secretary’s secretary’s secretary (look, it’s all up front, straight up) must…
Man about town Stanley Bridgewater, is shocked to realise that he is the same age as Ed Balls. Although Stanley is 54, and has always known his age, he always assumed that Ed Balls was older. 'Yes it is a bit of shock' bewailed Stanley 'I alway…
The new comedy pairing of Ed (the pole) Miliband and ED(Bollocky red)Balls is to be known as the Marxist Brothers. A Labour party spokesman confirmed the pairing as a mind blowing combination of scintillating intellects. Their aim is to take politics...
Ed Balls has been finding it difficult to come up with a suitable infallible authority to point the way forward for Labour's next election. Yup! He tells us that Marx and Engels are, well, a bit old hat, Stalin a bit nasty, and as for Trotsky, we...
Ed Balls announced an end to poverty in the UK if Labour win the next election. "The Tories are always droning on and on about Labour mismanaging the economy and being responsible for the recession; O.K. it's true but it's boring. They may have b...
In a rousing, rapturous Labour Party conference where only three elderly members died, the shadow chancellor appeared a shadow of his current shadow self, until his startling observations brought the house down and lit up his rotund face. Ed Balls...
Hi everyone, and welcome to my world! My name is Edward Miliband, known mostly as Red Ed and I am fortunate to be Leader of Labour -the true people's party. I am a son of a Marxist millionaire and I live in a mansion worth couple of millions. As a true socialist I uphold high principles of socialism and dream of creating for all of you a utopian socialist paradise where everyone is equal...
The disqualification of Britain's Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls for cheating during Sunday's final day Bilderberg annual golfing competition means original runner-up, 90 year old Henry Kissinger has now been declared the official winner. 'I suspecte...
Premiership managers will be reaching for the thesaurus in December as they are asked to take part in Cliché-free December. "I'm fed up to the back teeth of all the clichés," said Ed Balls minister for sport. "So we had a blue sky meeting and came...
A UK Member of Parliament, a boy sent out to do a man's job, ended up a screaming, bullying, finger pointing fool on BBC Newsnight. Discussing the phone hacking scandal, that he described as "a little local difficulty", the MP, who we can call Kno...
The Prime Minister lost his rag during Prime Minister's Question Time in the Commons this afternoon. He was in the middle of answering a question on the Government's proposed reforms of the Welfare Benefits system when he advised the House that he...
An enraged Call me Dave, allegedly, summoned a meeting of the wise and wonderful of his Tory Party cohorts last night. The meeting, apparently lasted through the night, and, has resulted in the resignation of Andy Coulson, Tory Director of Spin and M...
The Cameroons and their lobby fodder are walking round with wide grins. Our Glorious Ex Leader, Gordon is laughing his arse off. Labour MP's await the Ozzie v Balls battle of intellect and cross floor insults. The decision to make Ed Balls, Shadow...
Top Ten Norfolk and good In no particular order The Scottish soccer team The Engerland soccer team The Engerland 3 lions World Cup bid losers The snow and ice Cheryl Cole miming The UK coalition government - had to be in there somewhere The Irish bailout The subsidy of £100bn to HSBC, Lloyds, RBS and Barclays The very low Interest Rates (If you've got money in the bank you're a loser...
A Labour Party spokesman today blamed the Shadow Cabinet announcement on a clerical error. The leader's secretary was taking dictation from Mr Miliband when he allegedly shouted "Balls!" in exasperation at forgetting the name of the MP he had chos...
"We are all in this together." - So, it is reported, Mr and Mrs Ed Bowls and Ed Multiband and partner are happy to echo. The lucky couples will continue to receive Child Benefit. Even though they are filthy rich and dare it be mentioned, Labour to...
The Con-Dems have announced that the education budget will be cut by over one billion pounds from Labour's original budget. This represents a cut of one quarter, or a week's worth of fighting in Afghanistan. Labour's plan of rebuilding or refurbis...
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