LAREDO, Texas – (Satire News) – The United States Department of Immigration and Customs has pretty much seen it all as far as individuals trying to smuggle illegal drugs into the U.S. Laredo Sector Director Melody G. Ventinberry, 43, reported that…
Many of the idiots who voted for Brexit did so in the hope that Britain would regain control of its borders. However, in the latest development in the saga, the UK will be ignoring all customs controls on EU imports indefinitely. "We don't need bo…
Women entering some major European airports are being pulled aside by customs and security officers for a "tit control!" The controls were introduced because many women entering European countries from the Far East were carrying pumps for milking...
Yesterday, at The Grand Mosque in Canberra, Australia, a woman was stoned to death for allegedly being caught committing adultery with an unnamed man. The woman, known to us only as Sharia, was allegedly caught in a compromising situation with the ma...
Port authorities at Dover and Southampton have been put on high alert when it was discovered that counterfeit containers have been flooding the country for years. "We noticed it a couple of weeks ago," said customs officer, Ian Land. "There was Ma...
SAN DIEGO - U.S. Custom Agents report that they have apprehended a very attractive young woman from Cucamonga, California with 8,000 fake Viagra pills hidden in her Victoria's Secret panties. Sharleen Flameleaf, 24, who told custom agents that she...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Sergeant Fido, who is considered to be the very best drug-sniffing dog in the history of the U.S. Customs K-9 Corps has just retired after spending 10 years in El Paso, Texas. Fido, was given a lavish retirement party by his han...
Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...
Two councils on the South Coast have joined forces after hearing of the horrors of the Isle of Wight and have announced that with immediate effect they are closing the borders except for "essential services". The Media Spokesman for both Portsmout...
If you're male and you're headed to Christchurch airport in the land of the long white cloud you may be a target for a special kind of body search. A gay employee has been asked why he had increased the number male searches, and to give reasons as...
Bootleg copies of "March of the Penguins" were seized by customs agents as they were being imported into the country. Over 10,000 dvds were found in shipping cases destined for distribution all thoughout the country. The movie, originally release...
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