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Funny story: God smites Archbishop of Canterbury for speeding

God smites Archbishop of Canterbury for speeding

Justin Welby, aka the Archbishop of Canterbury, is recovering from a smiting by God after he was caught speeding. Welby, who presided over King Charles III's coronation last week, was convicted by Lavender Hill Magistrates Court of driving at 25mp…

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Funny story: Bishop's dead pig orgy "not illegal"

Bishop's dead pig orgy "not illegal"

A scandal has erupted in the usually genteel world of the Church of England. The Bishop of Chaffinch St Cock, Geoff "The Defiler" Futtock, has been captured on video in a horrific act featuring dozens of dead swine. In the video, Bishop Futtock ca...

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Funny story: Dalai Lama Sues Canon Welby: "Middle Way" not Anglican Property

Dalai Lama Sues Canon Welby: "Middle Way" not Anglican Property

The Dalai Lama may be a man of few possessions™, but he's hoping to get the better of Anglican Archbishop Justin Welby in a very material manner; while also sticking up for the faithful (at least, the right kind of faithful, anyway). Attendi...

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Funny story: General Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics

General Synod To Vote On A Boycott Of The Laws Of Physics

Controversy within the Church of England has intensified today on the eve of a crucial vote by the General Synod as to whether Christians should defy some of the laws of physics. 'We are sick of scientists not taking seriously our religious Truths...

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Funny story: Cross Dressers can become bishops

Cross Dressers can become bishops

The Church of England, also known as the Anglican Church, the Protestant Church and the Church of King Henry the Eighth, voted recently to disallow women from become bishops, although they can become other members of the clergy, including monks. T...

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Funny story: Church of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!

Church of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!

The Church of England was left reeling yesterday after a vicar admitted to his flock he was actually descended from penguins. The news has sent shock ways across the church and the Archbishop of Canterbury is said to be mortified. Donald Crewston...

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Funny story: Church of England Rebranded "Architectural Tours Ltd."

Church of England Rebranded "Architectural Tours Ltd."

The Church of England is undergoing a name change and will henceforth be known as Architectural Tours Ltd. The alteration is taking place to reflect the changing role of the Church in the life of the nation. A spokesman from St Paul's Cathedral...

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Funny story: Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas à Becket to be assassinated in December by four drunken knights; ridding kingdom of "that turbulent priest" and creating yet another 'Martyr Stop & Shop' for the British tourist industry

Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas à Becket to be assassinated in December by four drunken knights; ridding kingdom of "that turbulent priest" and creating yet another 'Martyr Stop & Shop' for the British tourist industry

Thomas à Becket, 52, was appointed the Archbishop of Canterbury in 1162. In a statement on his website, the head of the 85 million-strong Anglican Communion said serving as archbishop had been "an immense privilege". He said that news of his...

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Funny story: Church of England Criticised for New Prayer

Church of England Criticised for New Prayer

The Church of England (CofE) preaches that thinking of oneself is not the way Christians should go about their lives but thinking of others should be done too. When we say our prayers we often pray for forgiveness and state "I", "me", "my", etc which is not generally thinking of others, so a prayer for everyone to enter the Kingdom of God has been criticised for being too considerate towards th...

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Funny story: Church Of England Crackdown On Sham Christians

Church Of England Crackdown On Sham Christians

The Archbishop of Canterbury is to issue new guidelines to clergy in an effort to reduce the number of service users using the Church of England for non Christian purposes. Rowan Williams has long been of the opinion that, in a desperate attempt t...

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Funny story: Lots of bogus nuptials involve foreign hired slags says Archbishop of Canterbury

Lots of bogus nuptials involve foreign hired slags says Archbishop of Canterbury

London - A number of so-called members of the royal family may be involved in sham marriages the Archbishop of Canterbury has warned. A Church of England crackdown on sham royal weddings has deplored the use of non-British slappers 'during the nat...

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Funny story: Royal Wedding Venue Switch - Church Of England In Turmoil

Royal Wedding Venue Switch - Church Of England In Turmoil

Church of England authorities were in urgent talks with Buckingham Palace and Clarence House today following the shock announcement that April's royal wedding will be at Westminster Cathedral. The Archbishop of Canterbury and his aides have been p...

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Funny story: Two Vicars Charged In Fake Marriage Furore

Two Vicars Charged In Fake Marriage Furore

Two Church of England vicars have been charged after allegedly conducting hundreds of mock marriages intended to aid illegal immigrants defy immigration legislation and remain in Britain, writes Church Travesty correspondent, Arthur Vestry for the Da...

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Funny story: Anglicans And Catholics Plan "Clear The Air" Ruck After Walk-Out

Anglicans And Catholics Plan "Clear The Air" Ruck After Walk-Out

Heads of the Anglican and Roman Catholic Churches in England are planning a mass brawl to settle their differences over today's Ash Wednesday walkout by Church of England dissidents. The 600 have left the CE in protest at the decision to ordain wo...

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Funny story: New Baptism process announced by the Church of England (Yorkshire division)

New Baptism process announced by the Church of England (Yorkshire division)

Following on from recent reports that the Church of England baptism is considered a little bit 'dull' and potentially one of the reasons why people are falling out with religion, the Church of England (Yorkshire division) has devised a method it thin...

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Funny story: Queen Becomes Catholic: Finds Priests Sexy

Queen Becomes Catholic: Finds Priests Sexy

Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain has converted to Catholicism. Her Majesty's subjects learned the news when Buckingham Palace issued a statement. Those subjects who are Catholic rushed out on to the streets where they fell to their knees in pra...

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Funny story: Pope to meet the Queen and try and convert her

Pope to meet the Queen and try and convert her

A secret dossier has been leaked onto WikiLeaks about the Pope's real plans for his visit to the UK. As part of his visit he will visit Queen Elizabeth, who is head of the Church of England, a sect of Christianity that broke away during Henry VIII's...

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