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God Admits He Is An Atheist

Funny story: God Admits He Is An Atheist

The world was left stunned today when the almighty God descended from on high to announce that He, the Alpha and Omega, has officially become an atheist. The surprising revelation had an even more surprising origin, as the Father confirmed that the c...

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Elderly minister emits giant turd, names it Bernard, enrolls it in Harvard!

The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina held a news conference this morning in Raleigh to announce that he had, in the last day, emitted a giant turd. The emission weighed six pounds, seven ounces and McCorkle stated, "It was the...

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Jesus Tasered After Walking Into Church

33 year old two time zombie Jesus of Nazareth was tasered by an off duty policeman Sunday morning after he entered a Catholic church during mass. Witnesses from a home across the street from the church report seeing "some scroungy looking guy" ent...

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Trump's New Con: Trump Church Of Monetary Unification

Funny story: Trump's New Con: Trump Church Of Monetary Unification

Former presidential candidate Donald Trump might stumble but he never falls. In debt from his presidential bid and judgements from lawsuits over Trump University, the billionaire is moving on to his next business venture and redemption: The Trump Church Of Monetary Unification. This reporter attended a Trump rally, ostensibly a worship meeting, at the Atrium in the Trump Towers. Trump roused th...

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Christian Youth Group Forms Prayer Circle Around Tornado. Banishes It To Hell.

Funny story: Christian Youth Group Forms Prayer Circle Around Tornado. Banishes It To Hell.

Bentleyville, USA (AP)- Al Roker never predicted a rapturous burst of the power of prayer in his weekend forecast. The Child Soldiers For Christ youth group had assembled at their regular "divine debriefing" Sunday morning service when a loud nois...

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Overdressed Man Accidentally Walks Into Walmart

Funny story: Overdressed Man Accidentally Walks Into Walmart

When 38-year old Jeff O'Mairs went to Walmart last Sunday afternoon overdressed, repercussions were severe. A blast of Facebook rants and Instagram photos of him shopping while wearing a suit in the paper goods aisle went viral. The perpetrator...

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Model prayer for all occasions discovered in Kansas

The Green Cathedral, Harrisburg, Kansas The Honorable Crowley Smitherson, asst. Minister From the Pulpit, Dear Friends, We've all had to enter the new modern age and leave behind some cherished ideas. One is prayer. We aren't giving up on prayer yet. But, in the interim, we are standardizing the prayers we use. We have decided to eliminate all prayers in favor of one brief, standardized...

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Selecting a prayer partner for more effective prayer

I have observed over the years a despondency with some of our parishioners when their prayers have failed them. Sometimes they prayed for rain and got snow. Some have prayed to win the big Lotto Jackpot, only to do so, and find they have lost the win...

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Pope creates new tribunal to hide old tribunals sheltering of priests

Today, the pope created a new tribunal to judge the judges' in the old tribunal, who judged bishops accused of sheltering priests' abusive conduct in child sexual abuse cases. Msgr. Ignacio Colderanoni, was named chief judge over the objection of...

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Don't be afraid to pray to the Holy Spirit

May 31, 2015 3 minutes after Vespers Written on my iPhone Sent by email to the website, "PrayersGalore.universe Dear Holy Spirit, Yesterday I prayed to Jesus, God, Mary, St. Dominick the thin, Mother Doris,and Nun Kolodnic. I asked for wisdom, guidance, truth, clarity, and a bagel with cream cheese. I hope you are not offended that I didn't include you in my prayers. It wasn't an...

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"Satan Socks" Vicar Banned from Todmorden Pub

Funny story: "Satan Socks" Vicar Banned from Todmorden Pub

A vicar who believes shoes and socks are "the tools of the Devil" has been turned away from a pub in Todmorden, West Yorkshire, for being barefooted. Martin Chuzzlewit, 56, landlord of the Splintered Potsherd on Boundary Street, asked the Reverend...

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The Church and Same Sex Marriage

If the lord would make the miracle of 'Immaculate Conception' available to lesbian couples they would no longer need to locate an adult novelty store to consummate their marriage. This should make the church quite happy. Gay couples can consummate quite easily, but would still need to adopt because even the lord can't make the sun shine everywhere. Is human canine next? A lot of folks really d...

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Churches and Mosques To Be More Clearly Marked As Drunk Orders Takeaway At Mosque

Funny story: Churches and Mosques To Be More Clearly Marked As Drunk Orders Takeaway At Mosque

After a man of Eastern origin yesterday walked into a chapel and ordered fish, chips and a pickled egg, calls to clearly mark places of worship were made in Scunthorpe. Last week two inebriated couples walked into Scunthorpe's Kirk St. Mosque and...

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Southern Baptists Expel Church For Not Hating Gays

Funny story: Southern Baptists Expel Church For Not Hating Gays

The Southern Baptist Convention voted unanimously to expel a California church that was entirely too friendly to homosexuals. The New Heart Community Church in La Mirada, California, was "disfellowed" by the Executive Committee which held that...

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London vicar turns church into post office, quotes Euro/Sterling/US Dollar exchange rates for 30 Pieces Of Silver

Funny story: London vicar turns church into post office, quotes Euro/Sterling/US Dollar exchange rates for 30 Pieces Of Silver

London, UK - A North London vicar who has clearly never read the part of the New Testament about Jesus throwing the money changers out of the temple has opened up his own little bit of heaven in London NW6. The Rev Andrew Cain, vicar of St James'...

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Church ceiling ruined by sandals

The ceiling of St. Slippersarus Church in Gateshead is in need of repair after sandals ruined the décor. Apparently, youngsters had been observed taking off their sandals and hurling them upwards to shouts of 'Hallelujah!'. "It's a scandal,"...

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Church Meets In The Nude!

Funny story: Church Meets In The Nude!

A Church in Tallahassee, Florida who has a sister church in Virginia, both hold services in the nude. "You don't have to worry about what you wear or trying to show off a new outfit here", stated Brother Arnold Webb. "We're all the same in that w...

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A Colorado Church Says No To Pot Smoking Worshippers

Funny story: A Colorado Church Says No To Pot Smoking Worshippers

COLORADO SPRINGS - The Rocky Mountain High Clouds Church has had to take a stand against some of its worshippers who are into smoking pot. The Reverend Troy B. Bippus, 64, has said that he has decided to ban marijuana smokers from his church. R...

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Breaking news…

Trump's New Chief-Of-Staff Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin volunteers to be Trump’s new chief-of-staff.

"You're hired."
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