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Funny satire stories about brussels sprouts

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Funny story: Cafe Launches Brussels Sprout Coffee

Cafe Launches Brussels Sprout Coffee

Chutney on the Fritz's Hipster hang out, the etch a sketch Cafe, Sketchers has launched new Brussels sprout and parsnip flavoured coffee for the festive season. The cafe's newest owner (it has gone through five in three years) Shane Worthington sa…

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Funny story: Brussel Sprouts Still being disagreeable, again

Brussel Sprouts Still being disagreeable, again

In homes all over the land, on Christmas Day Auntie Gladys will declare as she does every year, that she loves Brussel Sprouts, but they disagree with her. And so it is that once again Brussel Sprouts will disagree with Auntie Gladys again. Auntie…

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Funny story: Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner

Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner

A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…

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Funny story: The Worldwide Olympic Federation Has Banned The Entire Belgian Olympic Team

The Worldwide Olympic Federation Has Banned The Entire Belgian Olympic Team

TOKYO – (Satire News) – Bad news has hit Belgium’s Olympic team. After a 72-hour investigation, it was determined that several members of the team smuggled in several packages of illegal Brussels Sprouts. One of the guilty athletes tried to say…

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Funny story: It's Christmas Crackers, Your Taste Buds Under Attack

It's Christmas Crackers, Your Taste Buds Under Attack

What is it with retailers? They seem to think that the mid-winter celebration of the birth of some bloke in Palestine gives them carte blanche to assault our taste buds with all sorts of concoctions we wouldn't think of touching at any other time of the year. You know what I mean: sherry, Bailey's Irish Cream, crème de menthe and snowballs for god's sake. Our award-winning French Food & Dri...

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Funny story: E Coli outbreak linked to brussels sprouts sickens nobody

E Coli outbreak linked to brussels sprouts sickens nobody

Another nation wide e coli outbreak has been announced throughout the United States. Fortunately, this one was linked to brussels sprouts, sometimes referred to as "asparagus testicles". Suckly Farms of Idaho announced the outbreak, once the illn...

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Funny story: 'The Onion' and Six Other Fake News Websites to Close--Russell Sprouts Says: 'World Insanity Beyond Our Writers' Imaginations'

'The Onion' and Six Other Fake News Websites to Close--Russell Sprouts Says: 'World Insanity Beyond Our Writers' Imaginations'

Chicago-"The Onion" Managing Editor Russell Sprouts announced today that the well-known fake-news outlet was shutting down immediately. Six other prominent sites said they would also be closing. "We can't keep up any more," said Sprouts, speaking...

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Funny story: Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim

Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim

Housewives hoarding brussels sprouts and those small sausages to put around turkeys for Christmas have caused panic buying, with major stores claiming that there will not be enough for every shopper if people greedily buy up the stocks now. Groups...

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Funny story: Return of the flesh-eating Brussels sprouts

Return of the flesh-eating Brussels sprouts

London - Shoppers were being warned today to be on the lookout for a toxic crop of the reviled Christmas veg linked to a notorious flesh eating bug. Reports say the tainted sprouts may be the result of GM experiments into meat tenderizing technol...

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Funny story: Sprout Disaster Fear

Sprout Disaster Fear

Prime Minister, David Cameron, has made a desperate bid to stop the Brussels Sprout mountain getting any bigger. Currently British tax papers are having to contribute £30 million annually to keep the Sprout Mountain in place. Next year the European C...

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Funny story: Evil Sprouts: Created By Satan, Official!

Evil Sprouts: Created By Satan, Official!

In a shock discovery by Terry O'Flannell, 54, Brussels sprouts have been proven to be the creation of Satan. Long thought of as the tiny cousin of a cabbage, sprouts are known for their potent gas making capabilities and foul and disgustingly horr...

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