X Factor Overlord Simon Cowell has finally broken his silence on Louis Walsh's controversial brain implant with characteristically blunt analysis. "Even with the brain of a hamster," mocked the Overlord, "Louis couldn't manage a band of teenage roden...
The White House was closed this weekend while attendants fumigated the president's offices for a pest infestation.
Several anonymous United Nations sources reported today of the Galactic Origins Domination Project. Government whistle-blowers praise it as next to Heaven in scope.
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