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Funny satire stories about beef

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Funny story: Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

Meat-Lover Sends Thoughts and Prayers to Suffering Farmed Animals

"Just because I eat meat doesn't mean I don't care about animals," said Josh Driscoll of Nashville, Tennessee. "I hate when people stereotype me just because I enjoy a good steak. Vegans are so judgmental." Driscoll went on to explain that every t...

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Funny story: Trump Acknowledges that Veganism Is a Social Justice Issue but Explains that He's Not Really Into Social Justice

Trump Acknowledges that Veganism Is a Social Justice Issue but Explains that He's Not Really Into Social Justice

Noting that the current American food system inherently relies on the torture and exploitation of living, sentient beings in order to supply Americans' meat-heavy diet, U.S. President Donald Trump acknowledged that veganism is a social justice issue,...

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Funny story: "Grain Brain" Doctor Advocates for Lyric Change to Classic Patriotic Hymn

"Grain Brain" Doctor Advocates for Lyric Change to Classic Patriotic Hymn

"Oh beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain," is a line that has made the hearts of countless Americans swell with patriotic pride, but David Perlmutter, M.D., whose book Grain Brain instructs people to eliminate all grains from their...

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Funny story: McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

McDonaldo's freshens its menu (sort of)

ANYTOWN, USA -- At McDonaldo's, if you buy anything other than a 1/4 Pounder, you can go pound sand, as far as the freshness of your order is concerned. "We don't do 'fresh,' when it comes to our hamboogers, cheeseboogers, or Big Macks," CEO Ronaldo...

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Funny story: £1 fish drawn into horse-meat scandal

£1 fish drawn into horse-meat scandal

The £1 fish man was today drawn into the horse-meat scandal when a disgruntled colleague on a neighbouring stall in Green street claimed the fish he was selling were actually horses. The colleague who asked not to be named claimed that the only re...

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Funny story: Horsemeat Contaminated with Cow

Horsemeat Contaminated with Cow

A horse has been found with 60% beef in it. Which technically makes it a cow but the animal is very confused. It has raised concern over how many other horses are infact cows and therefore potentially contaminating our favourite foods. Consume...

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Funny story: Vindaloo Eater Murdered in Street Brawl

Vindaloo Eater Murdered in Street Brawl

London: A number of people have been arrested at a Hare Krishna restaurant late last night in connection with the murder of an innocent bystander who was set upon by diners in what appears to have been an unprovoked attack. One witness, a girl, s...

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Funny story: Taco Gong Rejects Lawsuit Claiming its Seasoned Horsemeat Can't be Called 'All Beef'

Taco Gong Rejects Lawsuit Claiming its Seasoned Horsemeat Can't be Called 'All Beef'

Taco Gong President Jose Jimenez on Tuesday rejected claims made in a lawsuit that the ground horse a--holes in their tacos, burritos, Mountain Dew Baja Blast soda, and other products is not "all beef". "Esta es la carne. Toda," said Jimenez. I me...

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Funny story: Viral Video Shows Herd of Cows Derailing Train: "Six down," said the engineer. "Four to pick up the spare."

Viral Video Shows Herd of Cows Derailing Train: "Six down," said the engineer. "Four to pick up the spare."

A video that has gone viral in the last day shows, from an engineer's point of view, a commuter train travelling at 75-85 MPH, colliding full-force with a herd of cows attempting to cross the tracks. At least six of the bovine interlopers were imm...

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Funny story: Facebook 'Friendship' Based Solely on Mutual 'Like' of Beef Jerky

Facebook 'Friendship' Based Solely on Mutual 'Like' of Beef Jerky

HARLINGEN, TX - A local man has established a new Facebook friendship based entirely on the mutual like of Oberto brand Natural Style Peppered Beef Jerky sources discovered on Wednesday. A Facebook user for nearly 18 months, 39 year old area resid...

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Funny story: Kiefer Sutherland Can't Buy a Mexican Rump Roast

Kiefer Sutherland Can't Buy a Mexican Rump Roast

The already rich Movie Star, Kiefer Sutherland, fell for yet another git richer quick scheme today. The gullible Sutherland flipped a Stockton Beefer Bogie upwards of a million bucks to "Fetch some Beefalos in Mexico" and "Flip 'em for Big Bucks i...

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Funny story: Eleven Year Old Butcher Slaughters Veal Cutlets for Mexican Gourmet Restaurantes

Eleven Year Old Butcher Slaughters Veal Cutlets for Mexican Gourmet Restaurantes

Who doesn't love a thinly sliced veal cutlet? Mexican restaurant goers are no different and when you add the exotic curiosity of an eleven year old butcher slicing the fillets from live veals in a veal fighting ring, you know you have algo muy especi...

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Funny story: Beef scam exposed

Beef scam exposed

Inspectors have raided 22 butchers shops across the city after an investigative report in The Pig Truth revealed how some are using red paint to give frozen beef a fresh look. Punk clothed officers from the Paint and Environmental Department colle...

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Funny story: USDA has Beef with Treatment of Cows

USDA has Beef with Treatment of Cows

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has recalled 143 million pounds of beef from a California slaughterhouse, citing concerns that the company may be mistreating the cows on its payroll.

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Funny story: McCaskill Shouts in Session: Where's the beef?

McCaskill Shouts in Session: Where's the beef?

Washington DC - In perhaps one of the more embarrassing moments of the Senate, Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) shouts out of turn, startling the usually low key sessions. During a debate regarding Senate Bill 4905.89, McCaskill shouted loud enough to...

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