NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The union that represents airport security guards, (aka Friskers) are very angry at the new advancement. BuzzFuzz is reporting that close to 78% of the "Friskers" have been laid off due to the fact that every major…
The Hennepin County Attorney’s Office in Minnesota yesterday filed a complaint against Frank Towers, 44, after the man initiated an altercation with TSA employees. Investigators say the incident happened at the skyway checkpoint early last Friday mo…
Transit Security Administration employee Mark Roberts brings laser-focused attention to detail to his position at John F. Kennedy International Airport. As Roberts put it, “The second you put on that uniform, you gotta be on. That’s the job.” A...
Due to a glitch in the TSA's Delay Performance System, Trans American Flight 209 left the gate on time, took off, and landed at its intended destination on time. "We are looking into this situation. We take delay tactics very seriously, and if ou...
Abu Dhabi, UAE - An American woman aboard Etihad flight 311 caused a security incident on Monday when she asked crew members to remove most of the other passengers. According to sources, the unnamed passenger became nervous when she heard other pa...
Outraged medics have slammed Government claims to be screening new arrivals to the United Kingdom for Ebola Virus with seemingly pointless questionnaires about their grooming habits. The controversial form is being issued by Customs and Excise staff...
When Abdullah Al-Bariq passed through security at Detroit Metro Airport last weekend without being questioned, detained, or extensively-searched, he was delighted, yet very surprised. "Usually I get to the airport at least 12 hours ahead of time,...
The Terrorist Services Organization (TSA) closed down the St. Louis Lambert Field after a suicide tornado struck the field today. Although no specific terrorist group took immediate responsibility for the attack, managers at the TSA acknowledged t...
Airports in the UK and US are now having to install express lanes for exhibitionists who pack adult toys in their hand luggage in the hope that they will be asked to 'prove they turn on'. Security staff are exasperated at the number of passengers...
"Everything seems to happen to me", stated some guy at the airport who was sitting chained to his seat and with a pair of handcuffs on. I had sat sown to wait the wife come into the airport from VChicago and I hadn't notice the guy except that there was another sitting across from him. He looked like a security guard or an air marshall. So I waved and politely told the man across from my tal...
While this might not be a drug mule case, security guards at Kennedy Airport say it was more like a cow-smuggling incident. An as yet unknown 300-pound woman was routinely being searched at the airport when a bag of cocaine fell out on the floor.
WASHINGTON (AP) - On the eve of the massacre of children at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newton, The National Rifle Association won another victory. The victory shows the enormous power and control of the association over obedient members of the U.S. Se...
Sarah Plain has once again spoken out about the Martin Bashir resignation. "I expect these personal attacks on me because I am a Christian, I am conservative and I want the USA to stay a free nation. So Mr. Bashir didn't say anything that will bot...
Arabian Gulf - A bit of nifty detective work has identified the cutting edge security scanners as manufactured under licence in a First Anonymous Bank of Switzerland deal by a secretive, high tech Crawford, Texas corp. The address on the back of t...
LOS ANGELES - Kanye West's luck may have just run out as he will most probably be sued by a photographer who was pushed to the airport terminal floor by the out-of-control rapper. Several eyewitnesses reported seeing West physically pick up the mu...
Air passengers at Stockport Airport are demanding a return of the full body terrahertz scanners after the replacement has proven unpopular. The full body scanners were installed in 2005 and caused a massive controversy when it was revealed that th...
Transportation Security Administration airport workers intentionally blew up a passenger today after he began acting suspiciously. "The male subject was very nervous, and he had no identification and no luggage, and he refused to identify himsel...
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