Rummaging through the Will Rogers memorabilia at the UCLA special collections library, I came across these timely pieces of advice from America's foremost soapbox philosopher. They are as appropriate today as when he penned them a century ago.
Flouting the common wisdom that if you snooze, you lose, Carl Jansen of Nashville, Tennessee, won a pair of prime concert tickets as the direct result of his hitting the snooze button, which delayed his departure for work and set him up perfectly to...
Has your boyfriend or husband suddenly started grooming himself before work? Has he lost interest in the bedroom? Is he sneaking around whispering on the phone and receiving late night text messages? Have you spotted lipstick on his collar? There is probably a very reasonable explanation for all the above. For instance he may have started grooming himself for work because there could be a prom...
Copied from the author's 'Editors Comments Page', of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 139, published in April 2009. Amended to suit today's climate. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the fir...
Copied from the author's first and Editors Advice Page, of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 144, published in August 2009. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the firm never to have taken a day...
Copied from the author's 'Editors Advice Page', of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 121, published in August 2008. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the firm never to have taken a day off or b...
Copied from the author's first and Editors Comments page, of his 'Inchcock Monthly Guards Gazette', Issue 147, published on October 2009. (When I say published, he produced it and ran off a few copies for his fellow Security Officers at the Company he worked at who made him redundant through no fault of his own at 62 years of age, and he was the only employee on the firm never to have taken a d...
The following (with permission) is based on Inchcock's magazine article "20 questions about Senior Citizens answered by a Senior Citizen," but from a US readers perspective. It's akin to Rachmaninoff's Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini. 1) Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them? A: Look in the adult bookstore under PORN videos. 2) Q: How ca...
1) Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them? A: I look in the library under Romantic Fiction. 2) Q: How can a man cope during his wife's menopause? A: Blowed if I can remember! 3) Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse? A: She should tell him she's with child. 4) Q: What can an older woman do for the w...
Zzzzzzzzz. Oh good grief! If I hadn't been eating dinner (home-made salted cod fishcakes and black bean salad) I'd have been asleep by the time this game was half over! Birmingham picked up the first couple of starters and never looked back. They were not just faster to the buzzer, they really looked as if they knew more - which I'm sure was not the case. Poor Birmingham, bless their c...
One of our more mature contributors to the Inchcock Gazette, has sent in a list of his qualities and skill's he's amassed during his epic and boring lifetime - with an offer to assist others who do not have such qualities, of him passing them on if required. I recall in 1959, the Reverand Salmon taking me to one side, and telling me: "Whatever skills or capabilities you gain, there will always...
Memphis, Tennessee -- The King of Rock 'n Roll paid a visit to Graceland on the 34th anniversary of his death, bringing with him some advice for America's current top pop star, Lady Gaga. "I'm making more in a day as a ghost than most performers e...
It can't have escaped your notice that domestic fuel prices are about rise sharply. Don't despair, read our useful guide to saving energy and money. By following a few simple tips you could save enough money to buy a gallon of petrol. Believe it or not it's cheaper to buy second hand clothes at a local boot sale than it is to wash yours, even at low temperatures. The average washing machine...
Dear Supreme Court Justice Scalia, I recently got a got busted at an underage drinking party, do I have any chance of getting the charges dropped? --Dumb Ass Dear Dumb Ass, The framers of the Constitution didn't have your best intentions when they came up with laws that violate your rights as a child, but since you old enough to know that underage drinking means a chance of paying fin...
Sometimes in life, especially when you're growin' older and always forgettin' where you put your dentures, a man likes to write down some of the things he's learned. Sometimes, this is done to pass down your wisdom to future generations. Other times, it's to make money by selling stuff to a magazine or because you're hopin' to git a book contract. This isn't any of those. This one's just cuz...
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