WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Fake News) - The Republican National Convention kicked off in D.C.’s Melonhead Auditorium with semi-fanfare. CNN’s Jake Tapper noted that he has seen more excitement at a pap smear clinic. He noted that Kimberly Guilfoyle an…
NEW YORK CITY - The people at PETA, which stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are not shy when it comes to stating what is on their mind as CNN's Wolf Blitzer has found out. Blitzer revealed that he received an email from Mimos...
CNN announced today the network has suspended Wolf Blitzer, host of the news program The Situation Room after he allegedly lied about his Sleep Number setting. "Wolf has told other correspondents and members of the public on numerous occasions t...
NEW YORK CITY - An article which appeared in Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine states that Donald Trump is having trouble finding celebrities to appear in the next season of his show Celebrity Apprentice. Grilletta Brewburger with YKY revealed that Trump has...
ATLANTA - In what has been deemed the most amusing debates in the history of debates, CNN Anchor Anderson Cooper has been given two thumbs up for his performance not only by his colleagues but by his competition. Even Bill O'Reilly chimed in and...
LAS VEGAS - Although Las Vegas is far from New York City, organizers are working straight through the next couple of nights to insure that Occupy Wall is 'well represented.' Some protestors are flying, some are driving, and others are walking really...
WHEREEVER HE LIVES - Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum has been beyond frustrated that his intention to run for P.O.T.U.S. has not been taken serious enough. Recent statistics show that all Republican primary presidential candidates...
LONDON - Susan Boyle has announced that she will be going into the recording studio and recording a song with Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud. Boyle said that she recently received an email from Coyle telling her that her version of "Wild Horses" is t...
New York, New York - After Wolf Blitzer's dismal showing on Thursday's edition of Celebrity Jeopardy, CNN has decided to replace him with a Bozo the Clown Bop Bag. Simon Legree, Human Resources Director for Turner Broadcasting System, has confirme...
New York, New York - CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer is saying "It's my turn!" after fielding a blitz of media and internet mockery following his humiliating last-place finish on Thursday's edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. Blitzer lost Double Jeopardy with...
Atlanta, Georgia - Ted Turner, the man that created the Cable News Network, has admitted publicly today that he knew long before Celebrity Jeopardy came along that Wolf Blitzer was 'as dumb as a sack of hammers.' Wolf Blitzer, a popular newscaste...
CNN is in disarray after it was discovered that Wolfie Blitzen is not a hologram. On US election night CNN used absurd gimmickry to attempt to breathe life into their pathetic "The Situation Room". At the end of the night they attempted to switch...
TV viewers around the world were in shock today following last night's final televised US Presidential debate. Anchorman and presenter of CNN's The Situation Room, Wolfie "Donner Und" Blitzen, unwittingly presented his profile to camera, thereby reve...
WASHINGTON - The chairmen of the Democratic and Republican parties announced today an agreement in which both parties would hold nationwide primary elections on the same day. At a news conference held in the restroom of a popular Georgetown bar, Demo...
Key Democrats have announced plans to build a Commune on the Great Mall in Washington D.C.
ATLANTA - In what some see as a desperate bid to compete with FOX News, executives at CNN announced today that Christiane Amanpour, CNN's chief international correspondent based in London, would be stepping down and would be replaced by Priyanka...
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