There was a sense of relief when I woke on day seven of my forfeit. My wife had decided I should feel the pains that a woman feels throughout a rather intense week. Having been through the pain of shopping, make-up, dressing, working, getting ready, dieting, going to the loo, undressing, walking, sitting, standing, lying, sleeping, meeting people, and many more, I felt that there was no more pain,...
There is obviously something deeply wrong with me. I didn't think twice about the morning routine this morning. It's day six, the penultimate day of my forfeit for losing a bet with my wife on who can take more pain, men or women. I have spent the last five days experiencing several aspects of female pain. This morning, I removed the hair that had grown overnight around my thighs, moisturised, dre...
I had a startling choice on the fifth day of my forfeit. Having eaten more chillies than me, and completed a one thousand piece jigsaw faster, my wife had decided to teach me the meaning of female pain by exposing it to me for an entire week. When I awoke on the Wednesday to the sound of my alarm going off at ridiculous o'clock, I remembered that I had to go into the office. My wife had told me...
I had somehow managed to almost strangle myself during the night, and I woke up as tired as when I went to sleep. The nightie was described as sexy. I now appreciate that the moniker was attached by somebody who had never worn it. Red lace may leave little to the imagination, but it should not, under any circumstances be worn by anyone with skin. Lace may be the sexiest material on the planet, but...
I was glad that I had the week off work for Easter. It was why my wife had chosen this week for my forfeit, but I knew full well that she would have insisted I go to work, and then checked up on me. For the whole week I would experience the pain of femininity on pain of pain. Believe me when I say that the pain of being a woman for one week can in no way compare to what my wife is capable of. O...
I awoke on the Sunday morning, momentarily forgetting about my forfeit. I had lost a bet with my wife on the subject of pain. My wife decided over the course of a week, I would discover the pain women put up with every day. The previous day's shopping trip came back to me as I rolled over to get five more minutes, only to get my thumb caught in some lacy contraption I had gone to sleep in. As I...
I learned one very important lesson in this particular week: never make a bet with your wife when she's in a bad mood. Firstly, wives do not make a bet with their husband unless they are one hundred percent certain of winning, and secondly, they can be very, very (very) vindictive. First up, I am six foot two inches tall, balding of head and hair sprouting of body. I take size eleven shoes, and...
The Home Office has announced plans to reshuffle the week in a bid to do away with the 'Tuesday Blues.' Sources close to Prime Minister David Cameron say the plans are a pet project, part of his design to creat the 'Big Society' with a happier pop...
Government officials have taken steps to add an extra day to the week - prolonging people's suffering by a further 24 hours. The new day is to be called Shitday and everyone will be required to turn up for work/school/rehab on ti...
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