Question: That is quite a pair of tusks you have. What are they used for? Answer: Ever heard of polar bears and killer whales? Question: What do you like to do for fun? Answer: Catch some rays on pack ice. Question: How do you get around on the ice? Answer: See these two 3 foot grappling hooks? Question: How do you keep from getting cold in this freezing weather? Answer...
My friend Shylock Humes and I were crouching on the lawn of the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, waiting for our friends from Scotland Yard to gather their forces for the final push into the villa, where it was my fervent hope that we would at last encounter the denouement of The Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose. Shylock Humes turned to me. In order to do this, he...
The Walrus and the Stockbroker by Stephen D. Gross The neon puddled in the street Coney Island bright illuminating luridly the sallow urban blight and that was odd because it was a National Heritage Site Flourescence poured through office panes and with the neon's glare exposed the sidewalk's cracks and stains which had no business there "A painted whore" a man complained "and I...
Yonkers, New York - After a recent date with his fiance' Paul McCartney stopped in a local Pub for a cold one and The Spoof was there to chat with him. "Get away mate I'm just here for a beer to wash down me meds, I have like 15 different ones these days," said Paul, "I don't smoke grass anymore, don't want any, run along." We then showed Paul our official Spoof.com Press ID and he immediate...
As desperate scientists are gravely beset by impossible crises ranging from HIV-AIDS to global warming, a small group of mammalian researchers has decided to focus on the warm and friendly qualities of the walrus.
Ten walruses in Parliament have been fitted with satellite tags in a new bid to confirm whether the blubbery beasts ever actually show up for work in their respective houses of parliament.
According to a new National Geographic study released Wednesday, Walrus farts are now the leading contributer to polar ice melting. However, despite their danger, walrus flatulence has, until recently, passed under the radar. Apparently North Ameri...
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