ROAD TOWN, Virgin Islands – (Satire News) – The word is out that after years of official and unofficial debating, the British Virgin Islands name will be officially changed. Reports are that Queen Elizabeth decided that the islands needed a much m…
Most people can recall their first sexual experience, but judging from the responses to the 2021 Postcards from the Pug Bus Sex Survey, not everyone puts a smiley face on that memory. A total of 1,167 people responded to the Pug Bus survey. This pene…
The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...
In the U.S., critics say, the terms "faith based," "religion," and "family values" cut off thinking in the American brain, generating endorphins and sometimes evoking nods and smiles. Now, after the Hobby Lobby decision allowing "faith based" tigh...
President and CEO of Bobby Lobby, Cotton Mather, gave an exclusive interview to this magazine today. It is part of our series on the role of the corporation in U.S.society. The background for this particular interview is that the Supreme Court has ruled that the access to contraceptive coverage granted by the Affordable Care Act creates a significant burden on a corporation's free exercise of...
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and Fox News talk show host has made controversial remarks about female sexuality in the past. Yesterday, Huckabee said on his TV show, "Democrats tell women they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and p...
WOONSOCKET, RHODE ISLAND - A totally head scratching - hey, you gotta start somewhere - completely idiotic-sounding new and just slightly improved study commissioned by the usual assortment of well-dressed, overly schooled village idiots - otherwise responsible for the perpetual infliction of even more unsubstantiated inconsequential myths than you can shake a stick (among other things) at in the...
Both Billy Ray Smith and Roger Wentworth say they are virgins who want to get married. "I know such a thing is uncommon these days", stated Roger. "But we both have high moral standards." "That's so sweet, Roger." "Right back at you, Billy R...
The Epic of Gilgamesh is a long, boring, heroic poem by Gil Gamesh, a Babylonian who plagiarized the story from ancient Sumerian sources and claimed that the events of the poem, outlandish though they are, actually happened to him. One of the poem's key episodes in the flood, which, when it is written about in the Bible, is known as the Biblical flood, but, in Gilgamesh, is referred to as The Delu...
Following the successful sale of a young woman's virginity in an online auction, budding entrepreneurs appear set to alter Britain's retail landscape for good. Reports of Brazilian student Catarina Migliorini selling her virginity in an online auc...
Eugene, OR - Self-declared "virgin" and Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones was having a rough season. Four years after a stumble on the ninth hurdle cost her a gold medal at the Beijing games, Jones didn't seem to have even a remote shot at redemption. Enter...
Does it matter whether the biblical story of 'Cain and Abel' is true or not? Besides, aren't we of the same species and, therefore, brothers? Brothers have fought off their rival brothers. Jealousy and arrogance in man has led both sexes to all sorts of violence. This ancient grudge existed between two Arabs, Hashim, great grandfather of prophet of Islam and his nephew, Umayyah, dating back...
Following a near catastrophe on set of stairs during the half time show at Superbowl XLVI, Madonna has sworn to never wear 5 inch stiletto heels in any future performance. The 53 year old mother of three is no stranger to flamboyant stage costumes...
The afterparty was great. After the afterparty was even better. Well, at least for 50-year old former virgin, Frodo Baggins. In a pretty dramatic finish to a celebration of S-Day, or victory over Sauron Day, Frodo Baggins was caught in the act of...
KRWENY, Iraq--Islamic terror organizations report that the promise of 72 virgins in heaven to every suicide bomber isn't the dangling carrot it was back on September 11, 2001. Due to the wide availability of the Internet in the past decade, would-...
As reported earlier today in Afterlife Magazine, a staff medium successfully channeled the posthumous thoughts of Osama Bin Laden in a recent conversation with Elvis, where Bin Laden appears to be disappointed with his newly acquired bevy of virgins.
In a strange turn of events, Osama Bin Laden, his son, and Saif al-Arab Gaddafi, son of Col Gaddafi were all apparently killed on or around May 1st. It has always been a promise of Allah to allow martyrs 72 virgins as a reward for sacrificing their l...
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