Charles Dickens depiction of life in Victorian orphanages, Oliver Twist, has now been turned into a 2017 reality horror show by a bunch of Scrooges who run a daily meal service in a Catholic school in North London! It seems as though little Oliver...
Brexit covers the newspapers these days like a tramp's vomit, but it isn't the first time Britain has considered leaving a large international organisation - it nearly happened in 1886. While the British Empire was approaching its peak, there was a small movement for Britain to leave it. Coincidentally, it was led by my great-uncle, also named Sir Geoffroy Cockface. Sir Geoffroy was trouserer t...
Lord Britton removed his top hat and entered the door of the gentleman's club. "Good day, Sir," said the butler holding the door. "It's good to have you back." The Lord smiled at the servant and thought what a lower class moron the man looked. He wondered if he could have the butler sacked, but he had other business with the club secretary, Count Percy Twatarse. Count Percy's bushy mousta...
The following is a Spoof news article from 1840, one of several articles discovered in a dusty box in the attic of Duncan Brown in Chelmsford. It has come to the attention of all rational minded individuals that our beloved Queen of a mere three years, Queen Victoria, intends to marry into German nobility. Polite society has given notice that it has been appalled that such Visigoth blood should...
The world's interconnected telegraph network, also known as the intertelnet, has been running for a little over forty years now, sending Morse code messages around the civilised world. It was in 1832 that the first electrical telegrammatic message was sent from Dorking to Effingham by Lady Spongebob Telegraph, wife of the inventor Lord Jethro Telegraph. Famously, the message was a whimsical descri...
The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence (how else could they look? did you ever hear of such a thing as a noisy look?). At length the caterpillar took the hookah pipe out of its mouth, and spoke to Alice in a languid drawl ('I've never been in a languid drawl before', thought Alice; 'it really is rather uncomfortable'). 'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar. Thi...
The schoolmaster was leaving the village. Everybody seemed sorry. The miller at Cuttercombe lent him the little tilted cart to carry his worldy goods to the city where he was going, some twenty miles off. "But still I am unable to move my worldly goods", said the schoolmaster. "Why be that, sir?" asked the miller, his weathered, flour-dusted visage peering up at the master. "I have no horse"...
The modern urban dictionary defines a "pooner" in a number of different ways, but a lexicographer who frequently makes use of the Bodelian Library in Oxford has turned the closeted world of lexicography completely on its head. Clem Baker, of Abing...
The Conservative and Liberal Democrat Coalition Government announced today that it would revive Victorian Workhouses in efforts to save on Welfare Benefits. Under the 1601 Act for the relief of the poor, heralded by the Poor Law Amendment Act of...
A lack of diet and exercise has seen the return of rickets a popular disease of the victorian era. The consumption of fatty foods and the unwillingness of people to move very much has led to its return. People in the North of England are proving...
Estate Agents throughout the UK are warning of a troubling three day slump in the Period Property market.
Mars Lander's robotic arm has uncovered yet more evidence that the Victorians successfully established a camp on the red planet. NASA had earlier hinted that magnified images from the Mars Orbiter appeared to show the letters 'ADE IN BIRMING...
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