Self styled Dorking based publicist, Damian Pinter, was left counting the cost today, as his latest ambitious project was judged to be little more than an abject failure. Pinter, a youthful, outgoing, 81 year old opportunist revealed that he had h...
Dorking Library has finally announced details of its Summer Lectures schedule, accidentally timed to clash with the Olympic Games and a brand new series of Downton Abbey on the television. 24/05/12 - Secrets Of Successful Stand Up Comedy French stand up comedy legend, Ricardo La Tete reveals how he took the Paris stand up scene by storm, and shares the secrets of his success with the good bu...
Dorking Kebab shop owner Ali Baba today told of his pride at winning an award for his 'Family Octopus Jumper'. Baba, 43, who has owned the Kebab shop in Dorking High St for 6 years, keeps pet octopuses at his family home, but told how they suffere...
Ali Baba, owner of Dorking Kebab House on Dorking High St, announced today that he will be selling his fax machine as he discovered the only other owner of a fax machine in the United Kingdom lived in the flat above his shop. Mr Baba, 43, has owne...
A Dental Surgery on Pulp Street in Dorking closed its doors for the final time today, as Dorking Dentist John Douglas finally decided to call it a day, and hang up his drill. Douglas blamed a chronic lack of patients for the closure, as he admitte...
A distraught Martin Shuttlecock, one time Dorking resident, now of Titchfield, somewhere near the Isle Of Widget, today revealed that he has been forced into paying £300 in order to have his latest Spoof news item published. "Ten pee a story doesn...
The annual bible of the UK's richest people will feature a group of local media magnates for the first time when it is published tomorrow. The Sunday Times Rich List logs the ups and downs the country's richest people, listing the annual incomes f...
A Dorking resident was so frustrated he couldn't water his lawn under the current hosepipe ban that he deliberately set fire to a neighbour's hedge, in the hope that the emergency services - by extinguishing it - would simultaneously water his grass.
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was reported as being so angry on Saturday evening that he could have ripped the head off a cuddly teddy bear. A seething Shuttlecock related that recently he seems to be getting shot at from all directions and claims...
Dorking's own famous porn star couple, Tracy Storm and Harry Knutsford were sent packing from the set of Hollywood adult movie extravaganza, 'By Jove, That's A Stonker!' by Director, Phil Cleavage, after apparently suffering from excessive flatulence...
Rumours currently circulating around the offices of the Spoof website in Lancaster, suggest that a number of the site's contributors are planning on releasing a sequel to the massively unpopular, very nearly mediocre selling paperback book, 'The Dork...
It's the breaking news of the century - probably the 16th Century, but reports coming in to Skoob Entertainment News appear to strongly suggest that Spoof writer, Martin Shuttlecock - he of the pork pie hat, and the acrylic teeth - has secured an exc...
In a sensational breaking news story, it can finally be revealed that over the weekend, local man Martin Shuttlecock, actually introduced Spoof Godfather, Colonel Juan, to legendary south coast kebab and burger tycoon, Ali Bullo. Although only ov...
Hi there. You probably don't know me, but that's beside the point. I'm Yuck Skidmark, and I live in Stella Street, Dorking, which although you've probably never heard of it, is where international superstars (who aren't in rehab) come to chill out and take five. It's an interesting street, with lots of exciting stuff going on in it, and near it, come to think of it. So I thought I'd write do...
Good Evening. I'm Martin Shuttlecock, and speaking on behalf of my beloved wife and myself, I would like to extend the warmest of New Year's greetings and felicitations to those who read this. The ones who don't can all fuck off. Right - It's traditional to look to the New Year with optimism. It's the done thing to hope for a peaceful New Year, and wish happiness, health and prosperity up...
Breaking news appears to suggest that a posh bloke became involved in an argument with one of the writers of the 'must have' Christmas book, The Dorking Review, in a pub. In Dorking. Today. According to onlookers, the posh bloke became irate when...
It has been described as 'the book that everybody should have in their Christmas stocking' - The Dorking Review. And Dorking today rolled out the red carpet as the book's writers rolled up in the town for an impromptu book signing at Waterfall's book...
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