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Summer Stops Abruptly

Funny story: Summer Stops Abruptly

After weeks of blistering heat, hosepipe bans and warnings about dogs in cars, Summer has suddenly stopped. At 5pm British Summertime, the skies clouded over and "threatened rain" leading to barbeques being covered up, skimpy clothes to disappear...

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Isle of Wight News - Blacktop Days are Coming!

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Blacktop Days are Coming!

Winter has just ended and summer festivals are just around the corner. Soon the island will be blessed with many fun filled weekends providing enjoyment for both residents and tourists alike. It seems like every town and village has their own fest...

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No Summer This Year!

Funny story: No Summer This Year!

A team of weather experts meeting in New York are predicting no real summer this year but that 75 degrees in the south may be the best anyone can hope for. And, of all things, it's being blamed on Global Warming. Forecasters say that an unusually...

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Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

There would be no flooding in an independent Scotland it was claimed today. The bold statement was made by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who was making a speech from somewhere up really, really high. "This just goes to prove yet another diff...

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Costume Ideas For Summer Halloween Muggings.

Funny story: Costume Ideas For Summer Halloween Muggings.

Lets face it we all use Halloween to justify evil behaviour. There's no point dismissing the fact. Why not instead embrace this ritualistic, satanic holiday? I remember my first mugging. I was walking dressed as a burglar and a little old lady saw me. I was just joking I said, "Roger satan" at the top of my lungs. She started crying. I wasn't even gonna do anything. But she had a nice cell pho...

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Jellyfish Told To Go Home

Funny story: Jellyfish Told To Go Home

Jellyfish who have illegally settled in the UK have been told to Go Home by the Government. Ice Cream vans have been touring seaside resorts, where these illegal immigrants are known to be lurking, in an effort to get them to leave before they are pr...

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Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Funny story: Spring unapologetic for striking over temperature cuts

Spring has refused to apologise for going on strike in Britain this year, instead citing immigrants, an unfortunate bout of Hepatitis B and government temperature cuts as a valid excuse for no longer giving a fuck whether elderly couples can drink Pi...

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Emergency measures announced for 2013 summer holidays

Funny story: Emergency measures announced for 2013 summer holidays

The Environment Minister, Richard Benyon has today announced emergency measures for the British Summer Holiday. "Every year we have the same crisis, summer. Now we will be prepared." With immediate effect, town councils will be empowered to build...

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Fur-lined parkas this season's hottest look

Funny story: Fur-lined parkas this season's hottest look

London fashion week has been stunned by the range of summer gear from the fashionistas of Europe when the catwalk models paraded down the catwalk in thick fur-lined parkas. "It's a great look," said Gok Wan, who was at the Fashion show showing off...

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Topsy-Turvy Summer Weather - Mind Over Matter says Horley Woman

Funny story: Topsy-Turvy Summer Weather - Mind Over Matter says Horley Woman

Horley resident Anna Lee Retentive claims that the weather can be influenced by the power of thought. For example Anna claims that not once has she been caught in any of the recent downpours. "Take this week for instance" says Anna who works as c...

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Flaming June - Met Office Bust Popular Myth

Funny story: Flaming June - Met Office Bust Popular Myth

Torrential downpours across the country saw two months' rain fall in 24 hours yesterday. And weather forecasters are warning that heavy showers will return by the end of the week. The rain has caused chaos, with floods hitting various parts of...

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Isle Of Wight News: Tourist Information Centre Manager "Optimistic" About The Summer

Funny story: Isle Of Wight News: Tourist Information Centre Manager "Optimistic" About The Summer

The summer holidays are just around the corner, and the Island's tourist attractions are girding their loins for yet another bumper season, writes Tourism, Philately, Lacrosse, Bingo, Psychiatry, Indo-Chinese Drama and Phrenology correspondent, Herbert Ffountaine. I spoke to Eric Ladle, General Manager of the Island's Tourist Information Centres, yesterday. We had a jolly interesting conversati...

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UK Summer cancelled

Funny story: UK Summer cancelled

The Met Office officially cancelled summer 2011 this morning. Met Office stalwart Rory Pisser said, "Yes, we know that we were extolling a Barbecue Summer only yesterday morning, but a lot can change in 24 hours, and change it has. Our updated for...

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David Attenborough Predicts "Terrifying Summer" Of Butterflies!

Funny story: David Attenborough Predicts "Terrifying Summer" Of Butterflies!

The approaching summer will be the best for butterflies in 30 years thanks to the warm, dry weather, conservationists are predicting. Many species are emerging from their cocoons up to seven weeks early which means there is more time for them to h...

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Macaulay Culkin to Star in Halloween Eleven This Summer

Funny story: Macaulay Culkin to Star in Halloween Eleven This Summer

Shaking that movie franchise tree one more time, Rob Zombie, director of the last movie in the Halloween Series, has recruited Home Alone child star Macaulay Culkin to reprise his role for one last romp with Michael Myers. Mixing holidays and movi...

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Britain Must Prepare For 'Hottest Heatwave In Centuries' Say Experts

Funny story: Britain Must Prepare For 'Hottest Heatwave In Centuries' Say Experts

As the twilight looms in the month of May, UK Met Office experts have warned of an impending heatwave, the likes of which have never been seen since last time. Weatherwatch spokesperson, Jenny Pendlebreast, explained that researchers have studied...

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Summertime Plan To Boost UK Tourism

Funny story: Summertime Plan To Boost UK Tourism

Proposals to put Britain on "Double Summertime" will be published by the Government as part of a new strategy for tourism this week They will involve putting the clocks forward an extra hour to bring the country in line with the rest of Europe.

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Sunny Stories

A spirit of optimism is sweeping the country following the establishment of a Coalition Government. The new mood is everywhere, with the media leading the way. The 'Daily Mail' is joining with their pals at the 'Guardian' to publish the 'Guardian...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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