Hackers corrupted a leading Hollywood songwriter's computer today, causing a much-talked-about song to be leaked to the general public. Rumors are swirling in the music community that the song is to be sung by one of the Justins or possibly a Jonas.
After spending the summer in the garden, slightly rusty swingball set Leonardo Flumpski is feeling slightly sad. 'Yes. there I was' said Flumpski 'standing in the garden, waiting for someone to play with me, I mean people don't even need a partner…
One of the friends you invited on the weekend trip to the shore has tinnitus, so don’t turn the volume up too high. Jake Miller, 24, was diagnosed with tinnitus two years ago. Tinnitus is an underlying condition of many ear issues, that results i...
After weeks of blistering heat, hosepipe bans and warnings about dogs in cars, Summer has suddenly stopped. At 5pm British Summertime, the skies clouded over and "threatened rain" leading to barbeques being covered up, skimpy clothes to disappear...
Winter has just ended and summer festivals are just around the corner. Soon the island will be blessed with many fun filled weekends providing enjoyment for both residents and tourists alike. It seems like every town and village has their own fest...
A team of weather experts meeting in New York are predicting no real summer this year but that 75 degrees in the south may be the best anyone can hope for. And, of all things, it's being blamed on Global Warming. Forecasters say that an unusually...
There would be no flooding in an independent Scotland it was claimed today. The bold statement was made by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who was making a speech from somewhere up really, really high. "This just goes to prove yet another diff...
Lets face it we all use Halloween to justify evil behaviour. There's no point dismissing the fact. Why not instead embrace this ritualistic, satanic holiday? I remember my first mugging. I was walking dressed as a burglar and a little old lady saw me. I was just joking I said, "Roger satan" at the top of my lungs. She started crying. I wasn't even gonna do anything. But she had a nice cell pho...
Jellyfish who have illegally settled in the UK have been told to Go Home by the Government. Ice Cream vans have been touring seaside resorts, where these illegal immigrants are known to be lurking, in an effort to get them to leave before they are pr...
Spring has refused to apologise for going on strike in Britain this year, instead citing immigrants, an unfortunate bout of Hepatitis B and government temperature cuts as a valid excuse for no longer giving a fuck whether elderly couples can drink Pi...
The Environment Minister, Richard Benyon has today announced emergency measures for the British Summer Holiday. "Every year we have the same crisis, summer. Now we will be prepared." With immediate effect, town councils will be empowered to build...
London fashion week has been stunned by the range of summer gear from the fashionistas of Europe when the catwalk models paraded down the catwalk in thick fur-lined parkas. "It's a great look," said Gok Wan, who was at the Fashion show showing off...
Horley resident Anna Lee Retentive claims that the weather can be influenced by the power of thought. For example Anna claims that not once has she been caught in any of the recent downpours. "Take this week for instance" says Anna who works as c...
Torrential downpours across the country saw two months' rain fall in 24 hours yesterday. And weather forecasters are warning that heavy showers will return by the end of the week. The rain has caused chaos, with floods hitting various parts of...
The summer holidays are just around the corner, and the Island's tourist attractions are girding their loins for yet another bumper season, writes Tourism, Philately, Lacrosse, Bingo, Psychiatry, Indo-Chinese Drama and Phrenology correspondent, Herbert Ffountaine. I spoke to Eric Ladle, General Manager of the Island's Tourist Information Centres, yesterday. We had a jolly interesting conversati...
The approaching summer will be the best for butterflies in 30 years thanks to the warm, dry weather, conservationists are predicting. Many species are emerging from their cocoons up to seven weeks early which means there is more time for them to h...
Shaking that movie franchise tree one more time, Rob Zombie, director of the last movie in the Halloween Series, has recruited Home Alone child star Macaulay Culkin to reprise his role for one last romp with Michael Myers. Mixing holidays and movi...
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