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The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

Funny story: The Universe Has Stopped Expanding

The universe, which has been expanding rapidly outward ever since the Big Bang, more than 13.8billion years ago, has stopped doing so, and, indeed, has started to contract. Having been rushing continually outward for such a long time, the universe...

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Space vans to rent

Funny story: Space vans to rent

Do you need to transport goods into a low earth orbit at bargain basement prices? Perhaps you've always wanted to see the majesty of space through a windscreen, but without spending a fortune? Or have you ever wondered what the van of the future looks like? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need to rent a Space Van. A Space Van is just like a regular van, with fou...

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Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.

Funny story: Elon Musk Supports Trump Administration's Plan for a United States Space Force.

Elon Musk today threw his weight behind the Trump administration's plan to form a new branch of the armed forces, the United States Space Force. "The first troop carrier to space will be the TEZLA MACH 25!" declared Musk. "We must be ready, not on...

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"I Will Build A Space Force and The Martians Will Pay For It!"

Funny story: "I Will Build A Space Force and The Martians Will Pay For It!"

The president signed an executive order diverting all the people's pensions into his new program, whose new motto will be "To Infinity And Beyond", in honor of the projected budget. "And the best part is the Martians are going to pay for it. Trust...

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Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

Funny story: Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects

For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...

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Boy you teased in high school becomes omnipotent leader of his own planet

Recent reports from the international space station suggest that the boy you used to pick on in high school has somehow developed unfathomable powers and taken control of a previously unknown heavenly body in the area of Betelgeuse. “We were send...

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Space Threats Rain Down on Post-Brexit UK

The UK’s defence secretary has declared that we must be “ready to counter threats from space”. He made the announcement after watching Starship Troopers and posting a live Vlog of him standing on ants. The UK has proved itself incapable of dealing...

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NASA Says Alien Invasion 'Imminent'

Funny story: NASA Says Alien Invasion 'Imminent'

Representatives of all the world's leading governments have been summoned to an unprecedented emergency summit in Helsinki on Wednesday afternoon, after NASA released a statement which affirms that an alien invasion from space is "imminent". The n...

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Vice President Pence Announces NASA Mission to Find Heaven

Funny story: Vice President Pence Announces NASA Mission to Find Heaven

Vice President Mike Pence recently announced the next life-changing NASA mission: determining the precise whereabouts of heaven. Pence, a convert to evangelical Christianity from Roman Catholicism, told faith-based supporters, “To me, the final f...

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Stephen Hawking Latest

Funny story: Stephen Hawking Latest

Stephen Hawking, the English scientist, cosmologist, theoretical physicist, and cryptowheelchairist has ceased to exist, it's been discovered. Professor Hawking, 76, who had suffered with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) since he was 22, expire...

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A Call From The White House Leaves Astronauts Confused

Funny story: A Call From The White House Leaves Astronauts Confused

President Trump called the International Space Station today to congratulate Commander Peggy Whitson for spending a record-breaking 534 days in orbit over her entire career as as astronaut, and the astronaut became dumbfounded when Mr. Trump asked he...

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Moon Severely Damaged by Total Solar Eclipse

Mt. Palomar Observatory. Astronomers today confirmed what amateur moon gazers have been saying since late August: the moon is noticeably paler than it was before the total solar eclipse of Aug. 21. Offering an explanation devoid of scientific jargon...

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Trump Promises to Split the Planet Mars With Russia

Funny story: Trump Promises to Split the Planet Mars With Russia

Washington, DC President Trump held a press conference and announced plans for a manned flight to Mars. "People keep telling me to go to Mars and so we will!" said Trump. Although the first passengers we had in mind refuse to go-Obama and Hillar...

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Sara's desperation Vol. 3

Funny story: Sara's desperation Vol. 3

Space Log News: Six months after leaving earth the z23 computer picked up signals of the predatory aliens tracking the ship. In a final effort to save the crew, z32 transferred everyone into a capsule then released it as motionless debris. The mo...

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Annie Less-beyond joins NUTS

Funny story: Annie Less-beyond joins NUTS

Space news- Annie Less-beyond says she joined the few, the proud and the lonely of NUTS, New Ultimate Test Subjects. "Ever since I can remember, the desire to join this group of elite people has set me apart from society," states Less-beyond.

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World Gravity Shortage Drives Demand for Spacesuits

Funny story: World Gravity Shortage Drives Demand for Spacesuits

New York … The Earth is running out of gravity, according to an ongoing study by the US Environmental Protection Agency. The researchers found that a lack of the attractive force was directly responsible for the over 60,000 disappearances last year,...

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Trump to Erect Wall Around the Solar System To Keep "Dark" Matter Out

Funny story: Trump to Erect Wall Around the Solar System To Keep "Dark" Matter Out

In a series of tweets taking many in government and the science world by storm, President Trump has announced his intention to construct a wall around the Solar System, to prevent further illegal immigration of dark matter. "Invading invisible pa...

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Asteroids V Brexiteers

NASA has discovered two massive objects hurtling through space towards Earth. They reckon ones a comet but as one scientist says "We're fucked if we know what the other bastard thing is. The ship from Blakes 7?" Upon hearing that yet another forei...

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Breaking news…

Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.
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