LEXINGTON, Kentucky – (Satire News) – In a move to help increase sagging sales, KFC has decided to implement a new menu item. A spokesperson for the chicken giant, Filla Marshenco, 51, stated that starting in January 2022, all of the 23,802 KFC’s…
Choke-a-Kola is whining that a 10-percent tariff on imported aluminum makes its product more expensive. As a result, the company claims, it has no alternative but to “pass on” the costs of the tariffs to consumers. To make up the difference, Choke-a...
The Stormer Beverage Corporation is set to unveil a new soft drink within the next few months. The beverage is called Liquid White, and is the world's first white carbonated cola beverage. "For years, soft drinks have been similar in hue to minori...
The Hedonist lobby in the New Zealand parliament has gained overall control of the Government with a majority of 69. Recent statistics show that New Zealand's favourite alcopop, "Binge" is going out of fashion with a possible correlation with a reduc...
BOSTON - The Boston City Council has just passed a city bill which will limit the size of soft drink cups to just 6 ounces. Councilwoman Harriet S. Dilleyweiser, 59, stated that the vote was 9 to 4 in favor of going to the smaller drinking cup.
Brooklyn--Less than five days after New York City's Board of Health voted 8-0 in favor of Mayor Bloomberg's ban on sugary drinks larger than 16oz., "soda-pop speakeasies'' began sprouting up all over the five boroughs. "It started as a joke...
New York, NY: New York City (NYC) Mayor Michael Bloomberg intends to restrict sugary soft drink sales to less than 16 ounce servings at city restaurants, movie theaters and stadiums. NYC street vendors met with the mayor over concerns that the pro...
In what some sources are calling an effort to "make lemonade out of lemons," BP Oil announced today its entry into the soft drink market. "Bubble Up is a drink for all America," said the spokesperson. "It is not only good to drink, but its health...
INDIANAPOLIS, IN (Friggemall Wire Services) - Coca-Cola has announced plans to cap a ruptured line in an unprecedented attempt to stop the flow of soda that threatens a near northside restaurant. The Chuck E. Cheese was thrown into chaos last Frid...
After a lengthy report today by the World Health Association that claim that coke causes many major health issues, especially with younger people, the chairman of Cokeapep, the huge world wide drinks manufacturer rejected the report emphatically.
The soft drink manufacturer Spritzer that makes such drinks as Cake Cola and Fanba, have come up with a remarkable scheme that looks set to not only halt the increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, but actively reduce it. "What we are propos...
In a move indicative of a widening gap between Scottish and English law, the British Government today introduced a law which bans Irn Bru from sale in England. Ministers point out that if Scotland can take unilateral decisions along these lines, the...
A just released report from some hot air experts in the field, could explain that mysterious UFO sightings go hand in hand with a puzzling natural phenomenon known as sprites - flashes high in the atmosphere triggered by thunderstorms in clouds that...
Citing potential statistics on Global Warming, environmentalist champion Al Gore challenged the world to halt production of carbonated beverages such as soda and beer. "We must reduce unnecessary CO2 emissions," droned Gore, sipping a flat...
Spokesman calls rookie entrepreneur's concept "morally repulsive".
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