Donald “The Juice” Trump has unveiled his latest invention: Donny J’s X-Ray Spex! Fun for the whole family, now you too can see through people’s clothing to known whether or not they are worth a good grope. But what if they’re wearing bulky cl…
It was the heady days of the early 1980s when Thatcherism was in its heyday and the Iron Lady was riding the crest of a wave having won the Falklands War and her second election. I was a new boy, a spad, that’s a special adviser, seconded from Co…
Desperate for a glimpse of a light at the end of the “Trump tunnel,” Americans troubled by the sexual assault allegations made by former Senate aide, Tara Reade, against presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, felt renewed hope for the...
Breaking a month-long silence, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden formally addressed allegations that he sexually assaulted former Senate aide, Tara Reade, in 1993, convincingly denying that he had any memory of pinning Reade again...
After presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump was recorded describing his preferred means of sexually harassing women, and Democratic front-runner Joe Biden was alleged to have sexually assaulted former staffer Tara Reade, the lack of any sexual...
INDIO, CALIFORNIA -San Bernardino resident and Berkley student, Gus Bellshore, experienced a cataclysmic mishap on Day 1 of the hip music festival Coachella. What started out as a relaxing and refreshing trip to see some of his favorite bands with so...
Prince Andrew's legal team have poured scorn on the latest Jeffrey Epstein accusor, who has said that she was sexually abused by the former financier after giving him a massage on his private island in New Mexico when she was just 15 years old. Th...
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is in deep trouble this morning, after the number of women alleging sexual assault against him rose to three - the latest being Her Majesty the Queen. Her Royal Highness has said that, during her meeting with t...
A football running back has made a serious claim that his testicles were interfered with by one player in a game last weekend, and that a second player attempted to give him a blow job. Hank Stonker, running back for the San Bernardino Shitehawks,...
Things just keep on getting worse and worse for disgraced former financier, Jeffrey Epstein, who, after he had been arrested and held for sexual offences against children, then wound up dead, and, this morning, was charged with his own murder by stra...
The death in custody of financier, and alleged sex pest, Jeffrey Epstein, could not have happened completely by his own hand, according to the criminal underground. Epstein was found lifeless in his cell yesterday, and his corpse was rushed to a M...
President Donald Trump has come out fighting in his latest controversy, and says that the rape allegations in the E. Jean Carroll case are "not fake news", and are "absolutely true". Mr Trump met Ms Carroll in the Bergdorf Goodman department stor...
President Donald Trump has gone on record to officially announce that the woman accusing him of sexual misconduct is not his typist. E. Jean Carroll has accused Mr. Trump of lunging at her in the changing room of the Bergdorf Goodman department st...
I, like many others, was outraged by the news that Cardinal Pell, the former Vatican treasurer, had been found guiilty in an Australian court of sexual offences against two boys in Melbourne in 1996. The court arrived at its verdict in December la...
La La Land—Prosecutors in La La Land (aka Los Angeles) announced that martial arts expert and occasional “actor” Steven Seagull will not be prosecuted for a 2002 sexual assault he (allegedly) committed against a former model. According to the mode...
He always liked to boast about it on live radio and he did so for years. How he got away with it for so long, nobody knows but at some point the Hairy Monster metamorphosed into the Hairy Cornflake. Maybe it had become small brown and crispy until introduced to cold liquid. According to Botham Squab (sic) in "My Days Tending the Hairy Cornflake" "The hair prefix was, of course, down to DLT’s l...
NEW SHEOTH, THE SHIVERING ISLES – Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, invited news reporters from MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, Comedy Central, TBS, HBO, The Onion, and The Spoof to attend a press conference in New Sheoth, Sheogorath's home in the Shivering Isles. According to Tamriel lore, Sheogorath has spent countless millennia interfering with the lives of mortals, with acts ranging from mak...
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