Dear Dr. Quigley My wife and I want to thank you so much for your help now that she has managed to give birth despite the fact that several years ago I was told I am completely sterile. Your treatment worked wonders and we are both happy that she didn't have to resort to IVF which can be a traumatic experience. A. Simpleton, Bangor. Mr. Simpleton, you don't have to thank me as it was my plea...
Dear Dr Quigley My husband suffers from recurrent migraines, but his GP always insists on personally taking a sample of semen whenever he sees her. He looks forward to this regular treatment but I am not sure this is helping him, as he doesn't seem to have the same energy as before, which is disappointing. Is there anything I can do? Mrs. S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Mrs. Perm-Donor, your husband ha...
The New World Order Gender Bender Committee that meets once a year at Coventry's Masonic Hall London, England, has decreed that Barbie Dolls be made compulsory in Kindergartens. Barbie dolls will be distributed to male children as well as females and...
In the new national school curriculum unveiled yesterday by the Minister for Education, Mr. Ben Down, a major change in sex education is to take place in Australian schools. The Minister said that practical work would be introduced into the teaching...
Following the surge of parent protests on Monday, May 4th, the Ontario provincial government has rescinded their stance on the newly proposed sexual education curriculum. Newly revised curriculum affects grades 1-12. A summary of the pre-revised cu...
New Yawk, New Yawk -- Dr. Seuss, who died in 1999, has just published a new book, What Pet Should I Get? A parody of the Dick and Jane readers by which Americans became illiterate during the 1950s, the book is written in what critics contend is "m...
Washington DC - The Obama Administration's education department has come under fire for re-writing the nation's sex education standards so that they emphasize technique. The new standards, summarized in a recent Department of Education press relea...
GILBERT, Ariz. - A biology textbook, widely used in the state, has come under attack by a suburban school board in Gilbert. The school board has voted to exise or redact two pages in the book -544 and 545 -because they discuss sexually transmitted d...
As everyone on earth now knows, beings from the planet Sophia 69, that harbors extraordinarily intelligent extra-terrestrial life, have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions in recent days. As reported in...
BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...
SACRAMENTO, California - The state of California has always prided itself as being in the forefront when it comes to education. California high schools have in recent years gone from concentrating mostly on non-academic activities such as cheerlea...
We were invited in to hear Preacher Robertson talk to young couples and families. Phil Robertson stated that he was glad to see the three young married couples there with us and that he felt like he should speak out about certain thangs that most...
The Periodic Table is to be used to teach sex education to Sisters in religious schools. Many nuns, who teach sex chemistry to young adults in The Pope's schools, currently do not understand the workings of the Periodic Table. The table, which is...
Localtown, USA - An area wide ban on a dance craze called "twerking" has been enacted during homecoming season. School officials have decided that it has gotten so out of hand that even the use of the term "twerk", "twerking", or any variation of i...
AUSTIN, TEX ASS - The University of Tex Ass at Austin shocked graduates, alumni, and students' parents with its announcement, printed on the school's 2012 Commencement program, of a new academic program that it has added to its curriculum to honor th...
OKLAHOMA CITY - After a heated debate in which two state senators nearly came to blows, the state of Oklahoma has voted to replace the educational term sex education. State Senator Bella Irene Tannerfrip, 65, [R-Tulsa] stated that the vote came ou...
PALO ALTO--In the age of the internet, few things get by the average wise-ass teenager, especially not the secrets of sex and reproduction. So when local 14-year-old Daniel Weatherby correctly guessed his mother's site blocker password to be her cat...
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