Sometimes one must talk to an adult as one would a child, especially if said adult has a love for guns. Otherwise known as an American. So I’ll take this slow. All those oppressed peoples may not have had guns, that is true. But those rounding…
Republican Christmas cards are a new hot trend, and all the NRA members want in on it. None of the families or senators or congress-people or celebrities wanted to be named (you have to wait till next Christmas, nosey-parkers!), but each right-win…
Well, American school children will be heading back to school soon, and boy are they terrified! “I don’t wanna go! No no NOOOOOOOOO!” screamed a cute little lad going into second grade. “Will I die this year, mommy?” asked an adorable gal “look…
America, you are like the annoying house guest who just won’t go the fuck home, even when the host and hostess are in their PJs and have turned off the lights but kept the front door unlocked hoping you’d take the hint. America is the annoying nei…
Thank you, America, for teaching the world that guns are fun. A madman in Copenhagen, Denmark – the happiest place on Earth (Disneyland does NOT have a copyright on happiness) has now taken his gun into a shopping mall and killed some people. Just…
All Americans will have the right to keep and bear light-sabers ... as soon as a real one has been invented. All Americans will the right to keep and bear suits made of barbed wire in order to repel foreign invaders ... unless they’re sexy, then t…
Mitch McConnell, after much research, has revealed that George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, all their lives, carried concealed loaded flintlock pistols in their pants, and had advanced, specially made, multiply firing muskets i…
Ignoring the first part of the Second Amendment about weapons being necessary for a Militia, the Supreme Court has ruled that all Americans have a Constitutional Right to own a military style assault rifle. However, they can't own a machine g…
In a televised appearance Friday morning, NRA spokestwit Dick Shuter demanded that the U.S. federal and state governments immediately stop funding psychiatric facilities across the country, and also stop supplying mental patients with free anti-psych...
Republicans sifting through the stack of legally purchased guns that Stephen Paddock brought into his bedroom, half of which he'd converted into simulated automatic weapons, are at a loss to see how the massacre that killed 58 innocent people could h...
DENVER, Colo. - Seven people were severely injured when a man began firing during a planned Active Shooter drill in an office suite in downtown Denver's Tabor Center. The victims are all currently in stable condition. With public shootings reachi...
Washington (SAPP) - With the Obexit just months from now, President Obama is no longer the primary source for gun sales. For 7 straight years, US gun dealers have attributed the increased sale of guns and ammunition to Barrack Hussein Obama. The NRA...
(Editor's note: This article is in response to recent concerns about the Second Amendment, and should be interpreted as part of a wider debate, especially on gun control. This article was passed along from a deep thinker who uses a pseudonym. -- Edit...
Realizing statistically that whenever there is a gun related mass murder by a mentally ill individual or group that gun sales go up out of fear that they will be outlawed. Because of this gun manufacturers have started pushing the NRA to get more gun...
Washington-Feeling restrained by that seat belt? Resent being told you can't text and drive? Hate going to the DMV? The new Republican-controlled Congress is riding like John Wayne to your rescue! Fueled by Tea Party anger and led by glamorous cas...
In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past. Speaking at a press conference NRA Fuhrer Wayne LaPierre has vehemently a...
The Second Amendment (Amendment II) to the United States Constitution which protects the right of individuals to keep and bear arms will be written out of the constitution at midnight. After reading the original minutes of the meeting, written dur...
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