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Funny satire stories about Sean Connery

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Funny story: Next James Bond Could Be Mixed-Race Transgenderist With One Leg And A Lisp

Next James Bond Could Be Mixed-Race Transgenderist With One Leg And A Lisp

After the stunning news, this week, that the new James Bond is both black and female in the form of Lashana Lynch, it's been revealed that producers are already looking to the future, and will break down even more boundaries next time around. Havi…

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Funny story: Obituary: Sean Connery Discovers You Only Live Once

Obituary: Sean Connery Discovers You Only Live Once

Sean Connery, the actor who died at the weekend, having had a long and successful career 'tramping the boards' - not least in the James Bond movies - has finally found that, contrary to popular belief, you only live once. Connery died on Saturday,…

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Funny story: Sean Connery James Bond Comeback Shelved

Sean Connery James Bond Comeback Shelved

There was a major disappointment for James Bond fans at the weekend, when the proposed comeback of Sean Connery as 007 had to be abandoned when the actor gave up his ghost. Connery, 90, had starred in Bond adventures since he was a small boy, and,…

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Funny story: Blacklisp Spoiler

Blacklisp Spoiler

Hollow Wood, CA - Our Blacklisp source, janitor Moppet Buckae, stopped by my desk this morning and dropped off a script copy of the finale of the Blacklisp. It’s the most ridiculous episode yet, but very believable. Dumboy returns just in ti...

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Funny story: Nostalgic Television: "Get Smart"

Nostalgic Television: "Get Smart"

Get Maxwell Don Adams Smart, or Get Smart, as it was called for short, celebrated the U. S. Central Intelligence Agency. It starred Maxwell Don Adams Smart, an actual CIA agent who loved numbers, particularly 99. The series was designed to showcase the efficiency and sophistication of U. S. federal bureaucracies and to make Americans feel safe and happy to part with the millions of dollars in taxe...

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Funny story: Andy Murray Promises That If He Wins Wimbledon He'll Stop Doing Bad Sean Connery Impressions

Andy Murray Promises That If He Wins Wimbledon He'll Stop Doing Bad Sean Connery Impressions

Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray released an official statement this morning to the effect that, if he beats Roger Federer in Sunday's mens singles final he'll stop doing bad Sean Connery impressions. The move comes following criticism from f...

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Funny story: Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland

Susan Boyle In Violent Outburst Demolishes Scotland

In scenes straight out of the Marvel's Avengers Assemble, Susan Boyle in a fit of rage destroyed the nation of Scotland over the weekend, but luckily there were no fatalities. Following months of gruelling work, SuBo as she is known to her fans had b...

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Funny story: Sean Connery nabbed at airport

Sean Connery nabbed at airport

Sean Connery was arrested as he attempted to go through customs at Heathrow yesterday. The 80 yr. old actor, recently named in a multi-million fraud case, involving 'property' was arrested by airport security. A fellow passenger had pointed him...

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Funny story: 'I was a real-life secret-agent' reveals Sean Connery

'I was a real-life secret-agent' reveals Sean Connery

An original draft of Sean Connery's autobiography, 'Being a Scot' has disclosed startling revelations which were omitted from the final published version which was released to the public in 2008. The manuscript, which was inexplicably left in a co...

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Funny story: Sean Connery stars in Rocky Horror Picture Show

Sean Connery stars in Rocky Horror Picture Show

IF YOU'VE EVER wondered what James Bond would look like wearing tights, wonder no more for 007 star Sean Connery has agreed to take part in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Connery will play Dr Frank'n'Furter, the 'sweet transvestite' of Richard O'B...

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Funny story: Daniel Craig Voted Worst James Bond of All Times

Daniel Craig Voted Worst James Bond of All Times

Daniel Craig, the new James Bond actor who is loved and worshiped by all movie fans under the age of 16, was recently voted the worst James Bond by the vast majority of people in the English speaking world over the age of 25 (to include those under t...

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Funny story: Sean Connery To Visit Scotland

Sean Connery To Visit Scotland

World-famous Scottish actor Sir Sean Connery is to visit the Edinburgh book festival this year.

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Funny story: Sean Connery to run as SNP candidate

Sean Connery to run as SNP candidate

Actor of note Sir Sean Connery is to run as a candidate for the Scottish National Party. He is a patriotic Scot and a supporter of Scottish devolution.

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Funny story: Coronation Street Star Les Battersby To Be New James Bond

Coronation Street Star Les Battersby To Be New James Bond

The Coronation Street star Les Battersby has been confirmed as the actor chosen to be the new James Bond. The news comes close on the heels of Battersby's sacking from the soap after abusing fans...

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Funny story: Bush Chooses New War Czar

Bush Chooses New War Czar

After weeks of searching for a so-called 'War Czar' that would oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Bush Administration has found their man.

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Funny story: Indiana Jones comes out of retirement

Indiana Jones comes out of retirement

After a gap of almost twenty years, Stephen Spielberg is about to begin filming a sequel to his successful 1980's Indiana Jones adventure series starring Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. 'Indiana Jones and the Daytrip to Bangor' is a rippi...

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