In a break from royal tradition, the Royal Navy are going to demote Prince Andrew to ship’s cabin boy on his 60th birthday, following allegations that the prince had unlawful sex with an underage girl at the home of the late convicted paedophile, Jef...
Spanish navy and survey vessels were given an ultimatum by U.S. and British Navy Chiefs this morning. They were told to observe International Maritime Law and allow the vessels to pass unhindered through the Straits of Gibraltar. Chief of Navy S...
The queen is to name the U.K.s biggest warship Bazil because it sounds like her favourite herb. The Queen is due to give the name to the largest warship built in the UK at a ceremony in Fife's Rosyth dockyard. She will smash a bottle of whisky on...
Sheila Sweals, Sonic Detection Unit (S.D.U) Operator on the state of the art Australian ping listening boat, Prince George, admitted not wearing a secure thong at a Court Martial this morning. The boat, looking for pings from missing aeroplane MH 370...
Concerns have been voiced by United States Senators that Gibraltar is almost "under siege" again and Spain should be made to account for its actions, a select group of the U.S. international affairs department has said. A U. K. minister has also s...
The Minister for Defence, Richard Hammond has sent out requests for contract tenders to supply state of the art deadly word processors capable of on the fly rapid deployment of emails. These new machines will take the place of torpedoes, guns and mis...
FCO, LONDON: Due to the significant increase in criminal activity and recent terrorist attacks, Shots were fired by a Spanish Guardia Civil vessel at a jet skier in British waters around Gibraltar, all British citizens are advised to leave Spain imm...
In a surprise announcement this morning the Treasury Secretary, Danny Alexander, has disclosed a 'third option' for the austerity Trident programme. Rather than cutting the committed contracts for the boats themselves, the government will keep 3 out...
HMS Astute, Southampton: Police investigations, carried out by the Hampshire Constabulary have found out that the consumption of 20 pints of cider was not unsual for naval ratings and "significant" numbers of the crew used to get "drunk out of their...
Stratford, LONDON: In the tunnel at Stratford Railway Station, entrance gate for the London 2012 Olympics venue, there is a busker singing just like Ralph McTell, the old tune the 'Streets Of London'. Let us listen to those words; Have you seen the military men In the closed-down market on Green Street Kicking up the paper, with his worn out Army boots? In his eyes you see no pride for...
The Duchess of Cambridge has emptied Prince William's wardrobe of his best suits and some casual wear and despatched them post haste to the South Atlantic. The move is in direct response to sabre rattling by Argentine President Cristina Kirchner w...
Crew members aboard the Frigate HMS Rigging have returned to Southampton after six months patrolling the seas around Afghanistan to much confusion. "We've pulled into port this week," said quartermaster Lou Tennant, "and we're told the entire worl...
London - Funded by 'donations' and run by a 'charitable trust' the proposed £80 million royal yacht would be armed with torpedoes, helicopter gunships, a miniature nuclear submarine and armed patrol guards. "How very quaint," Royal Navy admiral i...
The Royal Navy has scoffed at media accusations that recent defence cuts have left the Home Fleet depleted, to the point of leaving Britain without a single fighting vessel to protect its territorial waters. The First Sea Lord, Admiral of The Flee...
Essex - Fears a stray whale or giant octopus may have swallowed a live 2,000lb (907kg) World War II mine were rife this afternoon. The ageing rusty bomb 'vanished' just as Navy frogmen were winching it into position off the Clacton coast. It ha...
Britain's Bathtub Admiral, and just half of the nation's dysfunctional Coalition, David Cameron, announced today that the HMS Victory, the World's oldest commissioned warship, will be re floated and activated in order to protect the nation's interes...
If anybody thought that the French were still smarting from the arse-kicking they received at the Battle of Trafalgar, those suspicions can now be finally laid to rest. Two hundred years on from that stunning defeat at the hands of the British Royal...
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