A Falkirk man who was just walking down the street, suddenly hit out at a total stranger because his beloved home-town is full of idiots.
"Every village has an idiot, but we are flooded with idiots from other villages just settling here because t…
Ex-SAS Man-turned-actor, Ross Kemp, has been stripped of the title that was pinned with honour on the CV that eventually won him his first role in EASTENDERS.
The shamed actor with the petted lip is said to be devastated at the news.
It's not t…
Ex East-Enders actor Ross 'The Real Deal' Kemp was reported missing today whilst filming another episode of Ross Kemp On Gangs in Salford.
A distraught production assistant who declined to be named for fear of reprisals said:
'We tried to warn...
Former Eastender hardman Ross Kemp (Grant Mitchell in the soap) today called on the Olympic Committee to include snooker in the 2016 Games in Rio, Brazil.
In a statement on his website Kemp explained his feelings.
"Some people enjoy watching the...
Former editor of the News of The World Rebekah Crooks today flatly denied a love tryst with former boss Rupert 'Rumpy Pumpy' Murdoch.
The former News International CEO who resigned last year and was arrested 'by appointment' has been in and out of...
More bad news emerged last night for former News of The World and Sun editor Rebekah Brooks when it was leaked that the BBC are to take out a civil prosecution for the attack on her ex-hubby Ross Kemp, who played the actor Grant Mitchell in the flags...
Ronnie O'Sullivan is the 2012 World Snooker Champion after potting his way to a 18-11 win over Ali Carter.
Resuming 10-7 ahead overnight, Rocket Ronnie never looked in danger of surrendering the lead and pocketed a 141 break - the highest in the history of the Final. Ronnie was also the oldest winner, at 36, since Ray Reardon in 1978. Carter did manage three frames in a row during the afternoon...
So today is the first day of the All-Essex Final, between 'Rocket' Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ali Carter 'the unstoppable snooker machine'.
Ronnie reached the final beating three previous world champs in the first three rounds - Peter Ebdon 10-4, Mark Williams 13-6, and Neil Roberston 13-10. In the semi-final he beat Matthew Stevens 17-10.
After a convincing 10-2 win over Mark Davis in the first...
Today is the first day of the semi-finals, which last three days (compared to the two day final)
There was no morning play, so I had to make do with Phil and Holly instead on This Morning. In a real emergency I could watch Ross Kemp In Afghanistan on DVD, but i normally save that for when Ross visits. He gave me a signed copy you know. Might fetch a few quid on ebay.
We are down to one table...
First up, the remaining quarter-final results.
Matthew Stevens beat Ryan Day 13-5
After trailing in the first session, Stevens reeled off 11 frames in a row to progress to the semi-finals, the sixth of his Crucible career, but first since a final defeat to Shaun Murphy in 2005.
Ronnie O'Sullivan beat Neil Robertson 13-10
O'Sullivan overturned a 5-3 first session deficit to win by three fr...
Day two of the Quarter-Finals.
Stephen Maguire beat Stephen Hendry 13-2
After a great start, Maguire finished off Hendry in two sessions, giving him an afternoon session off - but Hendry has plans for even more time off - by announcing his retirement after the match!
After an incredible career, including 27 years at the Crucible, winning seven world titles, 36 ranking tournaments in total,...
Stephen Hendry (Sco) v Stephen Maguire (Sco)
Jamie Jones (Wales) v Ali Carter (Eng)
Ronnie O'Sullivan (Eng) v Neil Robertson (Aus)
Ryan Day (Wal) v Matthew Stevens (Wal)
All four quarters cue off today, still best of 25, first to 13, and scheduled to last 3 sessions. That could be in doubt with the first match, as Stephen Maguire thumped fellow scot Stephen Hendry 7-1...
Today is the last day in the second round and Ali Carter, Matthew Stevens, Ronnie O'Sullivan and Jamie Jones all book their place in the Quarter-Finals.
Jamie Jones is definitely not the same Jamie Jones who plays in goal for Leyton Orient. It would be spooky if he were, as Barry Hearn is the Chairman of Leyton Orient and World Snooker. Everyone would call it a fix. And we had enough of that tw...
Today saw the finish of the Joe Perry v Stephen Maguire match - which I have tenuously linked to Jerry Maguire - as in Perry Maguire - geddit? No-one said writing a daily snooker blog would be easy.
With foresight, I should have linked this match to yesterdays (Day 8) marriage proposal at the Crucible by Brian Wright to Lisa Dunks. "You had me at hello..."
Theirs no Tom Cruise in the arena...
Stephen Hendry booked his place in the quarter-final by wrapping up his comprehensive victory over defending Champion John Higgins 13-4. He joins Neil Robertson in the Quarters.
In the old days when the games finished early, Dennis Taylor would pop out and tell his 'WC1' joke. Or John Virgo would play a few trick shocks. Sometimes Willie Thorne would tell us where he got his hair cut.
The draw for the second round includes a few science, film and musical references to keep us interested..
Higgins v Hendry.
Perry v Maguire - Show Me The Money??
Jones v Higginson
Carter v Trump
Williams v O'Sullivan
Gilbert v Robertson - (shouldn't it be Gilbert v Sullivan?)
Day v Yupeng
Stevens v Hawkins...
The games are already underway and Robertson is the first man into the last...
Well as the first round nears completion, so far half of the sixteen seeds have been beaten.
World number one Mark Selby became the record-equalling eighth seed to be eliminated after a heavy 10-3 defeat by Barry Hawkins.
The jester from Leicester who reached the World final in 2007 wasn't laughing much at this result.
Other seeds to bite the (chalk) dust are Great Scot Graeme Dott, Ste...
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!