Hollywood, CA President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will have a new reality show starting in January. "I will be the only sitting President of the United States to ever have a major television show while serving as President. My sho...
A new Republican bill before Congress criminalizes coitus interruptis --the act of male withdrawal during heterosexual intercourse seconds before orgasm so as to avoid pregnancy. "If we're going to illegalize abortion and birth control," said Rep...
AUSTIN TX (AP) In addition to passing controversial abortion legislation, the Republican ruled Texas house of representatives added two new amendments just prior to the final vote. Learning from North Carolina, there was no debate. Both amendment...
Tallahassee FL- Speaking at a local Toastmasters meeting, former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum made clear his position on the definition, and practice of marriage. "Marriage is, has been, and shall always be the sacred covenant b...
Likely Teapublican presidential candidate Mitt Romney revealed that he will be purchasing a new clothes washer for wife Ann this week. "I think it's the ideal gift for a stay-at-home mom like Ann," said Romney during a break from the campaign trail.
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Rick Santorum: Hey Newt are you there? 9:01 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Yeah Rick. I just finished having a piece of toast with some expensive butter that I have imported from Holland once a week. 9:04 a.m. Rick Santorum: Wow! I betcha it's good. 9:07 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Rick, it is so darn good, I actually hate to eat it. 9:11 a.m. Rick Santorum: Say Newt I just want...
When Rick Santororum bowed out of fhe presidential race yesterday, the media immediately began seeking a comment from Newt Gingrich. He was nowhere to be found! As the journalists frantically tried to find him, one enterprising reporter did a Google...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Hi Rick. Well old pal it looks like I'm done. I don't have a snowballs chance in hell of beating "Old Mittens." 10:01 a.m. Rick Santorum: I hear you Newton. I am feeling the same way. I don't think I've been this disappointed since back in high school when I asked the head cheerleader, Sadie Sue Von Buttermilk to the prom and she told me that she wanted to...
POCATELLO, Idaho - Glenn Beck was in Pocatello visiting one of the largest potato museums in the world, The Spud Land Museum & Gift Shop. He was accompanied by his 4-year-old niece Daisy Parpaletti, who looks just like him except she's a lot smaller, she's a girl, and she does not cry anywhere near as much as her uncle. Beck was asked by Mistletoe Bulova, a very pretty reporter with The...
Yesterday afternoon, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flabbergasted supporters at a campaign rally in western Arizona by discussing the often-taboo issue of mental health - including that of himself and the other presidential candidate...
SCRANTON, PA --- A staffer to Republican Party presidential primary candidate, Rick Santorum thought it was only an Etch a Sketch he accidently left in a cab. Only, after entering the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company where his boss was to give a speech did he realize it was Santorum's entire 'playbook' for what he would do if elected President of the United States. Taxi driver, Julian Assange (no r...
Ever since Mitt Romney spokesperson Eric "The Red" Fehrnstrom made his Etch A Sketch remark at a political campaign rally at a Pizza Gal Restaurant parking lot in Missoula, Montana, the name of the toy has been used more times than the words "Where's the clicker?" The following list was compiled by the verbiage gathering agency known as Did You Hear That, Inc. which is based in Kalamazoo, Michi...
A spokesperson for Rick Santorum has announced that if elected President, he intends to adopt the Biblical Cubit as the official unit of linear measurement for the United States. This change would encompass all U.S. Government Departments and Agenci...
HARFOLD, Vt. - Rick Santorum has all but lost the always-important 18 to 105 year old bracket of male votes this week regardless of party ties. Both Republican and Democratic, as well as Independent, Green, Tea Party, Communist males reacted in horro...
ATLANTA, GA (ABSNN) - Newt Gingrich believes he is "Behind the Eight Ball," according to close associates within his faltering, third-place campaign. The big stories the past three news cycles were Romney's exit from the Mormon faith and his convers...
Having had a long conversation with the ghost of Mitt Romney's female dog Seamus, Rick Santorum switched positions on women's rights and decided to support all rights for women including: birth control, abortion, family planning, Obama care, lipstick...
NEW YORK, NY Worldwide famous psychic Sylvia Browne appeared on "The Today Show" Monday morning and revealed Republican Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum's alarming plans for the Washington Monument. Santorum is allegedly planning on turning the Egy...
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