TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Sports Spoof) - Reports out of Tampa Bay are that the recently retired NFL QB Tom "Terrific" Brady has dumped his extremely sexy Buccaneers girlfriend, and is now dating actress Reese Witherspoon, who has appeared in such movies…
Although not as expensive to produce and not usually considered as "good" as motion pictures, television (TV) shows are still, by everyone's standards except, perhaps, those of Bill Gates, costly and, therefore, even their goofs, flubs, fuckups, boners, and bloopers, as mistakes by cast and crew are called (except when they're called outtakes or, in England, "a comedy of errors"), are often preser...
"I wish I was in Dixie." - Epitaph on Nicole Brown Simpson's headstone Dixie or Dixieland (not to be mistaken for Disneyland) is an imaginary country celebrated in a number of popular songs and, as such, takes its place not so much among the nations of the earth as it does among other nations of the mind, in a mental atlas alongside Narnia, Middle Earth, Oz, La La Land, Never Never Land, and...
Selma Beitner (aka Batsheva), whose screen name is Selma Blair because (1) "Blair" sounds better than "Beitner," (2) she wants to hide her Jewish heritage ("'Blair' sounds less offensively Anglo," she says), has starred in one or two blockbusters, but she is not adverse to accepting roles in independent films or even art-house trash when the meatier roles are not forthcoming. Her "versatility," sh...
The DUI Gazette - Instead of sitting politely and waiting for the police officer to reach her automobile, (after being stopped by the officer's flashing lights and sirens for driving on the wrong side of the street) Reese Witherspoon leaned out of th...
CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey, regarded by many as the Queen of Talk Shows, still likes to flex her telecasting muscles every now and then. Winfrey speaking from her home in The Windy City stated that Reese Witherspoon needs to stop acting like she is a...
ATLANTA - Reese Witherspoon is still in hiding due to extreme embarrassment over her recent arrest due to her disorderly conduct. A spokesperson for Ms. Witherspoon identified as Tucker "Bubba" Frattficker, stated that the actress wanted her famil...
Reese Witherspoon was enjoying her lunch at Mcdonald's yesterday morning, when a masked man with a water gun demanded cash from the register. Before the employee could move, Reese jumped into action and karate chopped the masked man and than put him...
BEVERLY HILLS - Actress Reese Witherspoon was recently approached by an undercover agent for an animal rights group as she shopped at Millions and Millions of Shoes, a local Beverly Hills shoe store. The individual representing a group campaigning...
Water For Elephants star, Reese Witherspoon stunned the audience at LA's Gibson Amphitheater, Sunday as she accepted the 'Generation Award.' In her acceptance speech, she slam dunked reality TV show star Kim Kardashian, and others of that ilk, suc...
Robert Pattinson's latest vehicle Water For Elephants has already been hailed as a work of classic cinema. "Promises to be one of the most notable examples of a film about water and elephants this year!" trumpeted Sabu, the film critic of Pachyd...
Hollywood, CA - America's Sweetheart and favorite chick flick blond has come clean about what she likes in the bedroom. And it isn't Water For Elephants. "Me and my ex Ryan (Mr. Phillippe-Witherspoon) broke up for way different reasons than e...
CHICAGO - The star of the Twilight movies Rob Pattinson and his Water For Elephants co-star Reese Witherspoon were in Chicago promoting the highly touted circus themed motion picture which is set during The Great Depression. In the film RPattz sta...
LOS ANGELES - Reese Witherspoon who single-handedly made the tern "Legally Blonde" infamous has recently completed filming on her latest movie Bottled Water For Elephants. Witherspoon co-stars with Robert Pattinson, who she found to be a sheer joy...
Reese Witherspoon told Glamour magazine that she was looking for a Spoof writer to share a few laughs with and maybe something more, if the writer met her standards for a mate. "In Hollywood, people put a lot of emphasis on the wrong things, and...
SANTA BARBARA, California - Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon, who are co-starring in the film Water For Elephants, were reportedly spotted taking a cozy, secret walk in the underwear along Santa Barbara Beach. Pattinson, who is 24, is ten ye...
Reese Witherspoon said she had diarrhea while eating at a lesbian restaurant. Reese Witherspoon and her sub-human lesbian lover Jenny Shimizu were out dinning at their favorite restaurant when Shimizu made her take a crap. They were eating fis...
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