Elizabeth Warren apologized to all Native Americans for being somewhat wrong about her heritage. Tulsi Gabbard apologized for her past views about LGBTQ individuals. Most recently, Beto O'Rourke confessed that his ancestors owned slaves and reparatio...
Fiery, intense, outspoken, and controversial are just a few of the adjectives that describe freshman congressional representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Does she represent a new advantage for the Democrats, or, instead, is she dangerous for the pa...
With Hillary Clinton as the presumptive nominee for the Democrats, some Bernie Sanders supporters are now executing their Occupy Walmart strategy in a last ditch effort to win Sanders the nomination. Nearly 40,000 Occupy volunteers will protest an...
Recently, GOP candidate Scott Walker dropped out of the presidential race. Officials wondered why until a surprise camera flash-mob on Hillary Clinton revealed that Walker had been abducted by Clinton and genetically engineered into a kitten. Whe...
Livingston, NJ - On Tuesday, infamous New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, finally announced to America that he will indeed be running for the highest office in the land - and he did it underneath the football goal that was once the site of the bigge...
Ah, yes. Elections. The only thing more American than that is a morbidly obese 40 year old drunk man carrying an assault rifle; yelling at immigrants. Boy, we really let our forefathers down. Around 65 people are potential candidates for presiden...
Pepe Warezabar here, just returned to Baghdad, and speaking into my laptop after rendezvous in Mosul with Hillary and the leader of ISIS. On the way there, yes, it was the orange Honda with plenty of dust, thank the bejeezus, me with pedal to the metal and Hillary in black burqa and wraparounds. Was she nervous? Who wasn't. Look, those claw marks on my right forearm could have come from anyw...
In burqa and nijab, with her signature dark wraparounds, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton recently entered Iraq as part of her presidential campaign. No simple drop in and out with flak jacket, HRC slipped into Iraq and drove north from Bagh...
According to a spokesperson for Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, the candidate for the 016 presidential election is sleeping less while consuming more bedside emergency oatmeal cookies than usual during long wakeful periods. The George Washi...
TOLEDO, Ohio - Most of the political media realizes that the GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney talks a lot about the middle class and about poor people but he really does not know very many people in either group. Political Salad Bar Magazine...
FIVE FORKS, South Carolina - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney's "Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour" pulled into the town of Five Forks, South Carolina on a day when the heat index was 103. In 1789, the city was discovered an...
DETROIT - Mitt Romney recently spoke before a crowd estimated at around 523 in Detroit's Carburetor Coliseum. Afterwards he sat down with Mistletoe Bulova of The Political Drive Thru Window. She asked Romney if he had heard from fellow Republican...
TOLEDO, Ohio - GOP front runner Mitt Romney was in Toledo speaking at the yearly meeting of The Retired Ohio Blue Tip Kitchen Matches Factory Workers Union 1313. He told the crowd estimated at between 71 and 74 people including six babies, seven t...
Mitt Romney went out of his way to show his audience yesterday that he was no Obama. "I'm no Barack Obama!", yelled Romney above the crowd roar! "I promise: No more stinking beer conferences! We need sober leaders, not people sitting around the Ro...
INTERNATIONAL FALLS, Minnesota - Michele Bachmann, who dropped out of the GOP presidential race after a very poor showing in the Iowa Caucus, recently confided to her hair stylist that she is really upset about a certain former fellow GOP presidentia...
DALLAS - Kelly Clarkson says that she is absolutely shocked at the fantastic surge in record sales after she announced that she would vote for Ron Paul for president. The Texas native said that at first she was concerned because a lot of haters to...
NEW YORK CITY - The resemblance is uncanny. Newt Gingrich looks just like the famous host of the popular kids morning show Captain Kangaroo. And the fact that so many Republican voters grew up watching the morning show certainly has caused Newt Gi...
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