Government whizzkid Liz Truss is still banging on about opening Pork Markets in Beijing, it has been disclosed to us. Although according to Katie Melua, Beijing has 9 million bicycles, its Pork Markets were very badly served until Ms Truss did som…
(Worthington, Minnesota) Vegans around the country joyously celebrated today as JBS, the world’s largest producer of certified dolphin-free beef and heart-healthy pork and pork by-products, shuttered its largest production facility in the U.S. this w...
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! will open in Chicago on St. Patrick's Day. Famous restauranteur, Chef Chip Chang, explained the theme of his newest Chicago restaurant, "It will be all about pork: pork chops, pork rolls, pork roasts, pork...
Tests on a major supermarket chain's Value Bacon Nuggets have revealed a micro horse meat content of between 20% and 30%, the Ministry of Food and Fisheries announced this morning. Sources of the meat have been located and are closed pending investi...
Auntie Jean: I would like to keep a male Wild Boar in the house for a pet and to teach it to find truffles. I have chosen a male pig because I have heard that the Wild Boar sows suffer from extreme PMS. I understand that many celebrities have Pot Bellied Pigs as domestic pets and know that they are basically clean animals and can be taught to go outside to do their poo and stuff. I intend to...
A spokesman for Britain's leading bakery chain admitted that pigmeat was used in millions of hot cross buns on sale this weekend. Most of the major supermarkets have this product on their shelves, discounted at one pound per bun. The chief Rabbi i...
Britney Spears panicked when she saw her six foot body guard pass out at her dinner table after he ate homemade pork chops prepared by Spears. Britney Spears was not affected because she was eating Salmon fish at the time. Doctors at the hospi...
A team of research scientists from Kentucky State University have concluded a year-long study of the average American hot dog to determine once and for all if they are, in fact, made from lips and assholes. The results indicate that hot dogs do indee...
In a secret gathering held in a ballroom beneath the capitol building last night, Senator Ann Whatatush, republican from the state of Kansas was awarded a one million dollar prize, mismanaged out of the defense budget, for the years best pork barrel...
UK pork eaters are being warned to avoid the fatty, pumped up with hormones, meat? Three people have died in the UK and many more have fallen ill with the porky transmitted bug, hepatitis E. At first nutritional experts thought it was due to pork...
Hard pressed British families will be glad to hear that Walls, producer of their beloved "Banger" is branching out and will shortly be marketing "Pigs Ears" as "a tasty snack the whole family can enjoy anytime! "Gordon Brown was our inspiration. W...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Even as the World Health Organization struggles to contain a recent outbreak of swine flu, a startling number of other swine related diseases and illnesses have begun to crop up across the globe. "This latest development is esp...
LONDON, UK: The Health Ministry has issued more swine flu alerts and precautionary measures. The Health Secretary has said: "We are now asking Brits to avoid eating bacon butties - just to be on the safe side". A bitter Onslow Dole and his wife...
The marketing of a computer which contains elements made from pork has angered some people in the Moslem community. The Tatyama p-01x has been on sale now for two months, and for reasons which the manufacturer has not revealed, has pork-fat as a...
DUBLIN, Idaho - Sausage meat that ended up in animal feed could force farmers to destroy 10 pigs or goats, safety officials said Tomorrow as the Dublin Union advised that Indian restaurants did not need to ban Irish chicken. The Bus Safety Authori...
County Downwind, Ireland - This lush Irish countryside, once brown as far as the eye could see with pig farms, now lies empty and desolate in the wake of the recent devastating tainted pork recall. The Irish government has acted quickly to recall...
London - (Royal Ass Mess): Toxic behavior by the lard-arsed Duchess of Pork's Provisional IRA pals may be behind the Queen sickening according to Palace medical sources. HM the Puppet Monarch was quarantined on Saturday night after a rasher (sic)...
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