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Funny satire stories about Phone calls

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Funny story: Covid-19 Complaint Line Opening Soon

Covid-19 Complaint Line Opening Soon

The UK Government have opened a Covid-19 complaint line. Harry Enfield lookalike, Michael Gove, told us, "What, with all the to-ing and fro-ing about whether we're locked down or up ... and whether we can drive blind or not ... we recognise that t…

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Funny story: Mom single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence

Mom single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence

According to new data, Mom is single-handedly keeping landline phones in existence. Research findings published by Johns Hopkins University have revealed that 100 percent of worldwide landline telephone usage is conducted by your mom. “Most o…

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Funny story: The New Orleans Police Department Says They Will Be Changing Their 911 Number Because of The Sudden Rash of Calls

The New Orleans Police Department Says They Will Be Changing Their 911 Number Because of The Sudden Rash of Calls

NEW ORLEANS – The New Orleans Police Department has informed the citizenry that, due to the tremendous volume of C-19 calls they have been receiving lately, they will be changing their 911 number. Claude Éclair, a spokesperson for the NOPD, said t...

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Funny story: Chinese insulted by phone call from "President Erect" Trump

Chinese insulted by phone call from "President Erect" Trump

The Chinese government have criticised Donald Trump for making a series of nuisance phone calls to Beijing, in which he has made racist comments, bizarre threats and requested help with building a great wall. A spokesman for the Chinese government...

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Funny story: Man gets only one missed call from Mom

Man gets only one missed call from Mom

Local Mom reportedly called her son just once, and hasn't left any messages whatsoever asking him to call her back when he gets this. Fort Wayne, IN - Worried sick, 29-year-old Barry Oldman reported Thursday he got just one missed call from his mo...

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Funny story: "Hello - have you been subjected to excessive nuisance calls? You may be entitled to compensation."

"Hello - have you been subjected to excessive nuisance calls? You may be entitled to compensation."

Following news that Time Warner Cable has been ordered to pay a Texas woman $229,500 for bombarding her with automated nuisance calls, automated call centres have been quick to include automated call compensation in their repertoire of services. W...

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Funny story: Electronics industry insider squeals, "Big companies make their products to last long enough for the warranty to expire but not much longer."

Electronics industry insider squeals, "Big companies make their products to last long enough for the warranty to expire but not much longer."

Remember the good old days? Your mother or grandmother still has a washing machine that is over forty years old and is still used daily. It sounds and moves like it's trying to lift off to the moon but to it's credit, the bastard still works. You...

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson Cuts Off Weiner

Robert Pattinson Cuts Off Weiner

The big news here just about an hour ago is that somehow or other, actor Robert Pattison has cut off weiner but we are awaiting more news on the subject. OK, here's a spokeswoman for Pattinson. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Press, I am here to a...

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Funny story: FCC Announces Phone Service Subsidy for Murderers

FCC Announces Phone Service Subsidy for Murderers

The Federal Communications Commission today took long-overdue steps to ensure that long-distance rates made by convicted felons are just, reasonable and fair. Studies have determined that law-abiding taxpayers will pick up the cost. The Commis...

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Funny story: Pakistan Outsources A Call Center To Cleveland

Pakistan Outsources A Call Center To Cleveland

CLEVELAND, Ohio - In an interesting twist of events, a telemarketing group in Pakistan has just outsourced its phone telemarketing program to The Hello Telemarketing Agency which is based in Cleveland. Pakistan's Yak Yak Telemarketing Agency, whic...

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Funny story: My life as a man #37

My life as a man #37

Another day, another opportunity to fall on my ass! A gal I've known since grade school called me this afternoon to ask if I'd like to get together for lunch tomorrow, to talk about the old days.... OK, before I begin, if you've not read any of my other stories, you may be unaware that no woman I have ever known EVER calls me to ask me to go to lunch, to talk about old times with her, or any...

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Funny story: Microsoft Help Centre Call To Fix Your Computer

Microsoft Help Centre Call To Fix Your Computer

Microsoft have set up a new system to help their estimated three billion customers. Whenever any slowdown happens, whenever a virus makes its way onto a computer, and whenever there is any kind of crash, they are instantly notified. This then allows...

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Funny story: Met Police launches 101 number for non-urgent calls

Met Police launches 101 number for non-urgent calls

Police in London are launching a phone number for calls that do not require an urgent response. I tried the system out today to see how it worked. The call went something like this. 101 Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring,…………………………………………….ring ring. Hello, you are through to the police non emergency help line; please select one of the following options. If you see someone breaking into a...

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Funny story: Cellphones Now Used More for Goofing Off Than for Calls

Cellphones Now Used More for Goofing Off Than for Calls

Liza Colburn uses her cellphone constantly. She taps out her grocery lists, records voice memos (e.g. walk Fido, break up with that loser Frank), listens to music at the gym, tracks her caloric intake and posts frequent updates to her Twitter and Fa...

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Funny story: A Phone Call from Mom Increases Stress Nearly as Well as a Slap

A Phone Call from Mom Increases Stress Nearly as Well as a Slap

A slap from Mom might sound painful, but new research shows that just hearing her voice can initiate the same sorts of biochemical responses - even when Mommy Dearest is communicating by phone. The human body produces the hormone cortisol as a re...

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Funny story: Vitali Klitschko calls Haye "Gay"

Vitali Klitschko calls Haye "Gay"

Weeks after the news David Haye had pulled out of his fight with Brother Vladimir, Vitali has been on the Rampage calling David Haye "Gay". He said "I'm sick of hearing about this no mark Englishman - he knocks out that big bum Monte Barrett and...

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Funny story: Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

Most Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed

A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...

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