Philadelphia restaurant owner, Alexander Foninsky, recently ate 40 cooked chickens in 40 days to spread Joy in the World. He is locally called ‘Rotisserie Man.' He has not explained how eating 40 chickens spreads Joy in the World - but just s…
PHILADELPHIA - (Satire News) - The Philadelphia City Council has just voted 7 to 3 to ban comedian Chris Rock from ever setting foot within the Philly city limits. A council member identified as Henrietta "Sags" Shickenbocker said that no one insu…
Combining the key principles of hot yoga with the technology of wood-fired brick ovens, the latest fitness craze known as hot pretzel yoga offers participants the opportunity to twist themselves into a pretzel and be baked at 425 degrees for 45 minut...
The 67 year old actor Sylvester Stallone was rushed to St. Joesph's hospital Saturday afternoon after sustaining a mild heart attack. Stallone who was re-enacting the famous scene from Rocky where he runs up the stairs of the Philadelphia museum o...
PHILADELPHIA - A meteorologist in The City of Brotherly Love recently announced on his weather show that the city's forecast calls for "Snow, snow, and more friggin snow." The meteorologist, who goes by the name of Blizzard Bill, said that he was...
PHILADELPHIA - The City of Brotherly Love was nothing but, as the Navy Midshipmen soundly defeated the Army Black Knights by a score of 34-7. The game was halted early in the third quarter when two clowns ran onto the field. The two were placed in...
AMERICAN FORK UT (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney announced Saturday his plan to rid the US of 500,000 Muslims with the stroke of his Presidential pen. He plans to give to Canada the four US cities with the highest population of Muslims: Detroit (300,000), an...
I don't mean to brag, but I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. I just did something worthy of "adventurer" status in Oregon Trial II. It wasn't the greatest feat. Nothing deserving of a GOOD mag email blast or 60 Minutes free-solo fame. We're talking college app essay material, a little deed that affirms who I am. So, I just moved to West Philly, and though I work full-time I've been tryin...
PHILADEPHIA, PN (ABSNN)-W.C. Fields was once asked about Boston or maybe it was Providence, some old Yankee City, if he liked the place. He said, "On the whole I'd rather be in Philadelphia." One wonders if he was a gay Catholic. The City of Bro...
Last year it was Number 1. But this year, NY has fallen to fifth place. Mr. Clean may have been at work. That is, if you have faith in the results of a survey done by Travel + Leisure magazine. It shows that this year, New Orleans is the Numb...
THE SPECTRUM'S BEST MOMENTS. May, 1974 - the Flyers Win the Stanley Cup. They would go on to win the Cup in 1975, f--k up in 1976, and then suck for 35-odd years thereafter. March, 1992 - Christian Laettner Hits the Shot Heard 'Round the World at the 1992 NCAA East Regionals-Duke vs. Kentucky With two seconds remaining in a tightly contest game to advance to the NCAA Final Four, Kentu...
The Philadelphia Spectrum, the 18,000 indoor arena and site of Shaun Cassidy's seminal 1979 concert, which was demolished today after being a blight on South Philly since the Nixon Administration, is now baffling scientists world-wide, as it leaves b...
Philadelphia PA: Every year at midnight on the 4th of July, an old wives tale relates that several distinguished gentlemen gather at the American Eagle Ale House to discuss politics and consume tankards of ale. This year 2010 was no exception as...
A spokeswoman says all eight people, and a big f--king Fiberglass duck, taken to a Philadelphia hospital after the duck capsized have been treated and released. The Osage Avenue Memorial Hospital spokeswoman says 10 people were taken there after T...
The Philadelphia Flyers, The National Hockey League's dung pile representing Southeastern Pennsylvania, has lost it's bid to win the Stanley Cup, quitting and giving up during overtime of Game 6 with the Chicago Blackhawks. While this was undoubte...
Philadelphia, PA - Mayor Michael Nutter has accomplished something other Philadelphia Mayors have been unable to do for fifteen years: acquire the biggest Crack Star from Los Angeles and bring him over to stumble the streets of Philadelphia. "I've...
The Philadelphia Eagles football team has used the name for over 75 years (except for a bried time during WWII when they became the Steagles). With their recent signing of Michael Vick and his court ordered requirements to promote dog health issues,...
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