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Funny satire stories about Ozzy Osbourne

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne claims “snowflakes have ruined this country”

Sharon Osbourne claims “snowflakes have ruined this country”

Loudmouth manager and Ozzy-minder, Sharon Osbourne, today raged at tabloids that “snowflakes have ruined this country.” She was not referring to the weather. She believes that the state of the UK has been seriously harmed, not by government misrul...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne admits he's not a Prince of Darkness after all!

Ozzy Osbourne admits he's not a Prince of Darkness after all!

Black Sabbath have said goodbye to their global fans for the final time in Birmingham, UK, where they originated from. During the performance Ozzy Osbourne admitted to his geriatric following; "I man not the fucking Prince of Darkness, just a born...

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Admits That She and Jay Leno Did The Big V

Sharon Osbourne Admits That She and Jay Leno Did The Big V

LOS ANGELES - Sharon Osbourne has never been one to hold back anything. She has always said what was on her mind even though at times there really wasn't much of anything there to speak of. Recently she was asked by Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattl...

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Fires Both Barrels At Justin Bieber

Sharon Osbourne Fires Both Barrels At Justin Bieber

HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Osbourne has never been one to hold back her feelings and she recently let them be known when the subject of Justin Bieber came up. The wife of Rock and Roll's Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, had just finished her dinner at B...

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Denies She Was Caught Underneath The Santa Monica Pier With Russell Brand

Sharon Osbourne Denies She Was Caught Underneath The Santa Monica Pier With Russell Brand

SANTA MONICA - The latest celebrity musings coming out of the Left Coast rumor mills state that Sharon Osbourne was caught in the clutches of a much younger man. And that younger man is none other than British subject Russell Brand. Celebrity G...

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Funny story: Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne's Marriage Is Heading For The Rock & Roll Rocks

Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne's Marriage Is Heading For The Rock & Roll Rocks

LOS ANGELES - It looks like the 31 year marriage between Sharon Osbourne and her Prince of Darkness rock music icon, Ozzy is shakier than John Goodman standing on a plywood platform. Reports coming out of the Left Coast are that the once-happy-as-...

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Funny story: 'Alzheimer Avoidance' surgery is a scam

'Alzheimer Avoidance' surgery is a scam

The removal of Ozzy Osborne's entire brain in recent ground-breaking 'Alzheimer Avoidance' surgery has been hailed as a stroke of genius. Neurosurgeons worldwide have called the audacious surgery - designed and implemented by Mr Adam Spoofery of Sa...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's

Ozzy's House - Following the lead of his wife who cut off her breast to prevent cancer, Ozzy has had most of his brain cut out in a bold attempt to prevent Alzheimer's. His wife had this to say. "I think it has really improved his disposition. He...

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Funny story: Shortlist for Archbishop of Canterbury position announced

Shortlist for Archbishop of Canterbury position announced

The final shortlist for the soon to be vacant Archbishop of Canterbury position was announced today by a group of men in fancy dress and funny hats, although these were later revealed to be their religious uniforms worn for special occasions and to s...

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Funny story: Ozzie Osbourne Bites Head off Live Walrus

Ozzie Osbourne Bites Head off Live Walrus

CHICAGO - Rock singer Ozzie Ozbourne decided to trump his own former accomplishments in animal abuse by appearing on stage naked and proceeding to bite the head off a live walrus. The act took four hours, witnessed by a mixture of cheering fans, outr...

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Funny story: Obama pitches reality TV show to get more prime time

Obama pitches reality TV show to get more prime time

New York -- President Barack Obama met with top television executives today to present a concept for a weekly reality show that would feature the entire Obama family. Called "One Big Happy Family," the show would focus on the Obama's' problem-solv...

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Funny story: My heart weeps for Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

My heart weeps for Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne

My heart doth weep for Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne and their HUGE taxt debt. If you believe the above then you will believe that it's really ME on my profile picture. For crying out loud and louder still...who the hell gives a brass nickel or a silver penny about their debts? They can easily pay the debt off with all the money and properties they own. Why is this newsworthy? Just MORE publ...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Makes Sharon Osbourne Go All Broody

Justin Bieber Makes Sharon Osbourne Go All Broody

Sharon Osboutrne wants to hear the patter of tiny feet again after meeting youthful singing sensation, Justin Bieber. Sharon and husband, rock wildman Ozzy, met the young singer on the set of an ad for the Superbowl, where Oz and Justin had to dre...

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Disses Fellow 'America's Got Talent' Judge Piers Morgan's Brand New Talk Show

Sharon Osbourne Disses Fellow 'America's Got Talent' Judge Piers Morgan's Brand New Talk Show

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Osbourne wife of rock and roll's 'Prince of Darkness' Ozzy Osbourne was asked by TV ClickerWorld's Grandiosa Littlehampton what she thought about Piers Morgan's new talk show Piers Morgan Tonight. Sharon who is not shy when...

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Funny story: Black Sabbath plagiarism spat behind Cradle of Filth furor

Black Sabbath plagiarism spat behind Cradle of Filth furor

Suffolk - (Heavy Metal Fatigue): Is an Ozzy Osbourne dark agenda behind a blazing row that's erupted at the Suffolk Tourism Board? The Black Sabbath musician is rumored to be linked to rampant insider knobbling about the popularity of Cradle of Fi...

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Funny story: Dad Ozzy f****n proud of Kelly Osbourne's foul-mouthed Twitter rant against her ex.

Dad Ozzy f****n proud of Kelly Osbourne's foul-mouthed Twitter rant against her ex.

Kelly Osbourne celebrated the festive season with a full frontal, foul-mouthed tirade on Twitter against her once great love and ex-fiance. The wannabe TV star and her model-fiance Luke Worrall split in July after she learned he had allegedly che...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne is a Neanderthal

Ozzy Osbourne is a Neanderthal

Scientists who have been studying metal maniac Ozzy Osbourne's DNA, have today announced that, as suspected by many, he is ,in fact, a Neanderthal. Test results have concluded that 94% of his DNA is Neanderthal. The remaining 6% being of early West M...

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