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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: An 88-Year-Old Great-Grandmother is Regarded as The Octogenarian Eric Clapton

An 88-Year-Old Great-Grandmother is Regarded as The Octogenarian Eric Clapton

SHREVEPORT, Louisiana – (Satire News) – The Houston Daily Driller is reporting that AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) has just named 88-year-old Greta Sexatini, the Eric Clapton of the Old Folks World. Sexatini, who resides with her g…

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Funny story: How old people are screwed by computers

How old people are screwed by computers

Everyone knows that old people and computers don't mix. The case of the absconded email password illustrates exactly how the curdling takes place, orchestrated by big tech. This is the notorious case of Miss Wiggins, an old maid who lives alone…

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Funny story: An Elderly Florida Couple Caught Having Sex in a Carnival Bumper Car

An Elderly Florida Couple Caught Having Sex in a Carnival Bumper Car

PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has confirmed that a couple who are both in their late 70s, were caught having dry sex in a bumper car that belongs to The Traveling Dixie Carnival Show. Burt and Irene Fumsteen, were videotaped…

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Funny story: A Florida Octogenarian Couple Discover a Volcano

A Florida Octogenarian Couple Discover a Volcano

PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz is reporting that a huge volcano has just been discovered east of Pensacola. The volcano has been given the name Mt. St. Citrus. Reports coming out of the Plywood State point out that the Florida Hous…

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Funny story: Pension Plan Wants Plug Pulled; Retiree, 120, Brain-Dead 30 Years

Pension Plan Wants Plug Pulled; Retiree, 120, Brain-Dead 30 Years

In an appeal to the state supreme court, the California Public Employees Retirement System - CALPERS - seeks to overturn a lower court ruling that prohibits removal of the life-prolonging plug from the electric circuit that has kept a brain-dead 120-…

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Funny story: Sad News: Polls Say 18-24 Year Olds Aren’t As Patriotic and Religious as Their Unhinged Trumper Parents

Sad News: Polls Say 18-24 Year Olds Aren’t As Patriotic and Religious as Their Unhinged Trumper Parents

Washington - Older White Americans were surprised to learn that people in the 18-24 age range did not share their enthusiasm for all things patriotic and evangelical. Caucasian baby boomers, a group that overwhelmingly approves of a wannabe dictat…

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Funny story: OAP replaces leaking tap in the Bog and is now recovering in hospital with a heart attack

OAP replaces leaking tap in the Bog and is now recovering in hospital with a heart attack

Erith, Kent, UK: Replacing leaking taps under sinks can sometimes be a harrowing experience for OAP's and people with 'Jurassic' knees. However, calling a plumber to do the job is even more harrowing after they send their invoice! It is a common f…

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Funny story: "Little Old Lady" deemed most stealthy threat for 13th straight year

"Little Old Lady" deemed most stealthy threat for 13th straight year

It seems the innocent, do-gooder, little old ladies of the world are out of luck getting any help crossing the street once again. For the 13th straight year the Ruling Order of Pasty Whites (ROPW) has named the "Little Old Lady" as the most stealthy…

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Funny story: Spoof Writer, 90, Dumped Twice by Same Girl 65 Years Apart

Spoof Writer, 90, Dumped Twice by Same Girl 65 Years Apart

Of all the girls I dated - lots in my time, which includes now - I'd only been dumped once before. I usually did the dumping. But this time, at 90, I got the full--blown treatment. Right down to having my email BLOCKED! Me! A recognized contributor t…

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Funny story: North Andover Entrepreneur Launching Old Folks Porn Channel

North Andover Entrepreneur Launching Old Folks Porn Channel

Well, it looks like porn is not just for young people anymore. Longtime North Andover resident and world famous entrepreneur Pepi McFain today announced his plans to launch a porn channel for the elderly. “We’re targeting ages 65 and up which, on…

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Funny story: Easy Listening Music Enthusiasts In Call For Equality

Easy Listening Music Enthusiasts In Call For Equality

We're constantly told that we should not judge people or discriminate against them because of their color, sex, gender orientation, religion, or political stance, and now comes the latest warning - to stop judging people because of the music they lis…

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Funny story: Mean Old Man Loses His Voice By Yelling At 'Covid-19 Detourers' To Get Off His Grass

Mean Old Man Loses His Voice By Yelling At 'Covid-19 Detourers' To Get Off His Grass

We've all encountered them-- the nasty, ornery old guys that can't stand it when you get anywhere near their front lawn. And now one man in the suburbs has lost his voice by yelling at so many 'Covid-19 Detourers', that he's been forced to use a meg…

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Funny story: Couple in argument over last Rolo

Couple in argument over last Rolo

A man and his wife from Brighton have told friends of how a cosy night in front of the television turned into a major incident, after they became embroiled in an argument over the last Rolo. Just to clear this up, they're both from Brighton, not j…

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Funny story: Major Tom "Over the Moon" at Promotion

Major Tom "Over the Moon" at Promotion

A WAR veteran who raised millions for the NHS by walking around his house has been promoted in rank from captain to major. Major Tom Moore says his next venture is in space, where he hopes to go around his capsule "in a most peculiar way". The...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll

Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll

After yesterday's news that UK residents aged over 70 might be required to remain under lockdown until at least the autumn of 2021, a new leak has emerged claiming that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is currently discussing an even more radical plan fo...

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Funny story: Residents of A Senior Citizens Home in Nebraska Are Passing the Time by Playing Twister

Residents of A Senior Citizens Home in Nebraska Are Passing the Time by Playing Twister

BROKEN BOW, Nebraska - Flossie Wunderwurst, the director of The Napping Nightingale Senior Citizens Home, which houses 603 older men and women, states that, everyone in the entire home is doing well and are in a happy mood, considering. The long-...

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Funny story: Coronavirus threatens granny porn industry

Coronavirus threatens granny porn industry

For years, twisted perverts have pleasured themselves over classic geriatric porn with titles such as "Wrinkly Tits", "Dry, Dry Vages", and "Gravedodgers on Viagra". Yet now, the entire industry has shut down, as its stars are dropping like flies fro...

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