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Funny satire stories about Old People

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Funny story: Easy Listening Music Enthusiasts In Call For Equality

Easy Listening Music Enthusiasts In Call For Equality

We're constantly told that we should not judge people or discriminate against them because of their color, sex, gender orientation, religion, or political stance, and now comes the latest warning - to stop judging people because of the music they lis…

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Funny story: Mean Old Man Loses His Voice By Yelling At 'Covid-19 Detourers' To Get Off His Grass

Mean Old Man Loses His Voice By Yelling At 'Covid-19 Detourers' To Get Off His Grass

We've all encountered them-- the nasty, ornery old guys that can't stand it when you get anywhere near their front lawn. And now one man in the suburbs has lost his voice by yelling at so many 'Covid-19 Detourers', that he's been forced to use a meg…

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Funny story: Couple in argument over last Rolo

Couple in argument over last Rolo

A man and his wife from Brighton have told friends of how a cosy night in front of the television turned into a major incident, after they became embroiled in an argument over the last Rolo. Just to clear this up, they're both from Brighton, not j…

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Funny story: Major Tom "Over the Moon" at Promotion

Major Tom "Over the Moon" at Promotion

A WAR veteran who raised millions for the NHS by walking around his house has been promoted in rank from captain to major. Major Tom Moore says his next venture is in space, where he hopes to go around his capsule "in a most peculiar way". The...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll

Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll

After yesterday's news that UK residents aged over 70 might be required to remain under lockdown until at least the autumn of 2021, a new leak has emerged claiming that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is currently discussing an even more radical plan fo...

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Funny story: Residents of A Senior Citizens Home in Nebraska Are Passing the Time by Playing Twister

Residents of A Senior Citizens Home in Nebraska Are Passing the Time by Playing Twister

BROKEN BOW, Nebraska - Flossie Wunderwurst, the director of The Napping Nightingale Senior Citizens Home, which houses 603 older men and women, states that, everyone in the entire home is doing well and are in a happy mood, considering. The long-...

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Funny story: The Plusses and Minuses of Frozen Carrots

The Plusses and Minuses of Frozen Carrots

This is a very poor time for a refrigerator to malfunction. You don’t want a tradesperson in your house, when you’re afraid to see your own children. But last week, our refrigerator decided to freeze 10 pounds of carrots rock hard. At my time of...

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Funny story: Grocery Shopping, March 2020

Grocery Shopping, March 2020

My wife and I went to the grocery store early this morning. It was very quiet there. I have never found grocery shopping very interesting, but it has never felt quite like this, for as far as this corona thing goes, we are in the danger zone. As...

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Funny story: Coronavirus threatens granny porn industry

Coronavirus threatens granny porn industry

For years, twisted perverts have pleasured themselves over classic geriatric porn with titles such as "Wrinkly Tits", "Dry, Dry Vages", and "Gravedodgers on Viagra". Yet now, the entire industry has shut down, as its stars are dropping like flies fro...

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Funny story: Harry Returns His Hearing Aids

Harry Returns His Hearing Aids

No. Not that Harry. This Harry lives in Canada too, but he’s a Canadian retiree approaching 70 years old. There had been pressure on Harry for some time from his wife and grown children for him to get hearing aids. He was reluctant, but there was...

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Funny story: Weighted-Blanket Death Syndrome on the Rise

Weighted-Blanket Death Syndrome on the Rise

WEST CHESTER--A seventy-five-year-old woman, whose name was being withheld at press time, was found dead in her apartment yesterday afternoon, trapped by the weighted blanket under which she had been pinned for some time. Neighbors, who had not seen...

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Funny story: Luckliy, I Landed on my Head

Luckliy, I Landed on my Head

I’m sure a lot of things bent but luckily nothing broke when I went over the handlebars of my bicycle. I began riding a bicycle again three years ago. I had ridden, as have most, as a child, but gave it up as it wasn’t cool after age 12. So it was 52...

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Funny story: Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

A pensioner from Leeds has revealed how he spent the weekend holed-up in his back garden shed, after an argument with his wife "over nowt at all". Arthur Batty, 68, fell foul of his wife, Edna, 65, after she asked him if he liked a new mauve cardi...

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Funny story: Elderlies annoyed with reports on what they’re thinking about following demise

Elderlies annoyed with reports on what they’re thinking about following demise

Starting with an article in Newsweek magazine yesterday, a wave of irritation and protest has surged throughout the elderly community. The Newsweek headline: “Elderly Americans are dying without getting to read Mueller’s report and they’re not...

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Funny story: Man Decides To Change His Newsagent

Man Decides To Change His Newsagent

A man in Cambridge has told friends that, barring any last-minute complications, he will change his local newsagent at the end of this month. Eric Brogden, 71, has used the University Newsagent for more than 40 years, buying all of his tobacco, hu...

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Funny story: Old man tempted to join new team

Old man tempted to join new team

Gary Johnson Sr, 78, and father of Gary Johnson 48, who is often featured on these pages, from Chutney on the Fritz, has revealed that after years of being on one team, he has been sorely tempted to join another one, again. He has been playing dar...

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Funny story: An Achievment for the Ages: Elderly Woman Proud to Have Written ‘New York Times Bestselling Will’

An Achievment for the Ages: Elderly Woman Proud to Have Written ‘New York Times Bestselling Will’

Stating that she couldn’t have gotten this far without the love and support from her wonderful family, 93-year-old Esther Hammons reported, Tuesday, being “proud to be the authoress of a New York Times Bestselling Will”. “I’m a sim...

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