O.J. Simpson wrote a book once. I never read it, but the title was something like: “I Didn’t Do It, But If I Did, Here’s How I Woulda Done It.” Yep, that is true, he actually mentally visualized the crime of killing two people – which he allegedly…
The creator of Harry Potter is a villain ranked right up there with O.J., Jim Jones, and Benedict Arnold. What thumb-sucking moron could have created that lineup? Why not throw in Adolf Hitler? Lucifer should also be in the running. And then there’s…
Taking a page out of the Donald Trump defense book, Harvey Weinstein is claiming executive privilege and is not allowing any former actresses, actors, anyone who auditioned for him, had dinner with him, gave him a massage, sat too close at a restaura...
Ever since President Trump's dimwitted appearance at the G7 Conference, his popularity has been dwindling in the United States, and has hit rock bottom in the rest of the world. In the absence of a Republican candidate to challenge Trump, polls in...
Calling a press conference at the Las Vegas Hilton, four sports stars who spent time in the slammer made an historic announcement--they were going to work to help others like them walk the straight and narrow. "We, we, uh, we just wanta help those...
SCI Phoenix, Pennsylvania Mel Gibson and O.J. Simpson have both visited convicted rapist and one-time comedian Bill Cosby. Spoke Gibson, "I have to admit, I never really liked Bill until all this secret drink stuff came up. And then, when I found...
Tallahassee, FL Florida elections officials announced today that they had solid evidence that the recent Florida elections were hacked. They point to the fact that O.J. has become the new Governor. "O.J. Simpson wasn't even on the ballot. The fact...
Washington, DC Trump's new Secretary of Commerce will be O.J. Simpson announced the new White House Press Secretary. "President Trump feels that O.J. has had a lot of commerce experience, what with his running through the airports for Hertz, and...
Los Angeles, CA Kim Kardashian released statements regarding namesake North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un. "Now, this Kim from Korea, he had plenty of time after his Daddy died to pick a name other than Kim because a quick look at the TV or Internet...
Lovelock Correctional Center, Lovelock, Nevada Newly paroled convict O.J. Simpson, winner of the Heisman Trophy and other sporting awards, told reporters about how it no longer bothers him if people buy and sell his old trophies. Simpson has spent ni...
Lovelock, NV O.J. Simpson, Heisman Trophy winner and double murderer, said he wants to return to football and add to some of his running back statistics. "I know I've screwed up a lot and so that's why I think it would be good for me to get back t...
Washington, DC It has long been a tradition for U.S. Presidents leaving office to pardon people. President Clinton pardoned 140 in the last days of his office. Some of the celebrities requesting meetings with Obama, besides the obvious like O.J. S...
Las Vegas, NV While on a weekend pass to judge if he is a candidate for parole, O.J. Simpson was sent back to prison earlier than expected when he broke a display window at Vegas Trophies on W. Sahara in the city. "I just thought I saw some of my...
Earlier this morning Med Star filming crew set up props on O.J. Simpson's former estate. They were preparing to film the last three episodes of Forensic Files. Filming was interrupted when the Prop Master found a knife buried under the Director's...
LOVELOCK, Nevada - The most famous inmate at Lovelock Correctional Center, O.J. Simpson, has just dropped quite a bombshell. Speaking with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk in an isolated area of the prison facility the former NFL great mad...
A brazen prison crime has been perpetrated and the perp is a familiar monster of folklore. Put the notion of overweight James Cagney calling for his "Ma!" in a one-man prison riot in the movie White Heat. This is another fat inmate doing a Pillsb...
Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...
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