Newly Knighted, former deputy prime Minister Nick Clegg has told his former boss, David (Dave to my mates) Cameron, 'You'll address me as Sir, you little gob-shite'. The altercation took place in a part of London, where the former colleagues met,...
You may recall David Cameron's hoax phone call back in January this year from a chap high on marijuana and cocaine pretending to be director of GCHQ. Mr Cameron, as you will remember, claimed not to be fooled and quickly hung up his blackberry.
Cameron leaves blemish on 50th anniversary of Churchill's funeral! CIA HQ have received following report from star scum reporter, Sir Reginald Suck-Blood, who attended the ceremony from a gutter in Whitehall after being flushed down the bog at 10...
Yes, Scotland has No bananas: 55% No bananas. As Katherine Hepburn once said about Fred Astaire, "Ginger Rogers made Fred more masculine." Like Ginger, Scotland made England more masculine. And as former Governor of Texas Ann Richards once pointed ou...
Nick Clegg's party (which would be finished by nine and the only music played would be Ed Sheeran songs) the Liberal Democrats have begun a pre-election panic. After realising that their in danger of getting less votes than a mime act on the X-Factor...
The Government has been rocked by allegations that the Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, is a secret Liberal. An article published in yesterdays Guardian claims that Clegg was in fact for years the leader of a party called the Liberal Democrats. Thi...
David Cameron's introduction of numerous women ministers into the cabinet led to long discussions into the night. "The male ministers were ready to just watch some TV and go home but many of the female ministers were worried about problems the cabin...
The Lib-Dems are Absolutely Not going to reshuffle themselves and give roles to more lady M.Ps in the government because the ladies are not present in great enough numbers to properly shuffle about, an exasperated spokesperson said this morning.
Prime Minister of Britain David Cameron and the President of Argentina, Mrs. Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, are to meet this Friday to engage in a best of five game of Rock-paper-scissors for the undisputed ownership of the Falkland Islands. The...
The Liberal Democrats are heading into the summer recess with an uncertain future. After a mauling at the hands of Labour in the local elections and coming fourth tied with the anti european Greens in the EU elections it seems that Nick Clegg is not...
Liberal democrat-fever has hit sky-high records in the town of York this past weekend where the spring Liberal Democrat conference is taking place. The party arrived by coach where screaming and adoring fans were waiting holding banners and begging f...
David Cameron today revealed incredible plans to reintroduce Cadbury's Caramel Bunnies back into Britain so we can all 'take it easy'. The Prime Minister announced the plans from a chocolate river, built by poor people who had worked for no money...
Housewife Gloria Red-Nees has denied flooding Somerset by leaving the bath taps running while at the hairdressers. Husband, Lord Farquharse Red- Nees said "Oh yes you did" to her this morning. "I bloody well did not" said Gloria to our flooded co...
An electable laugh filled political party is in the final stages of formation with Boris Johnson and the UKIP party at its core. Trial comedy press releases will be held at the Apollo theatre, with side splitting faux passes by each member of the UKI...
David Cameroon cut short his holiday last night to fly home and deal with the impending Premier League transfer crisis. 'Call Me Dave' and Sam-cam were topping up their tan on their fifteenth mini-break of the year, staying on the recently renamed...
The Prime Minister is still refusing to leave his home in Downing Street to face reporters following the urgent telephone call he made to President Putin last night when demanding that Russia return Mount Snowdon to Britain immediately. The front...
Dear Diary, Thank god I'm not in that hell-hole of a place Wandsworth anymore. It was a nightmare to be in there. All I could hear were the little lambs screaming every night and there was nothing that could take their screams away. Now all I can hear is their silence and it's so peaceful. Now I'm residing at her majesty's pleasure in an 'Open Prison' which is completely different from Wan...
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