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Funny satire stories about Missouri

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Funny story: Budweiser To Produce Microwaveable Beer

Budweiser To Produce Microwaveable Beer

ST. LOUIS - (Satire News) - One of the most popular beer companies in the world has just informed the beer-drinking public that in an effort to stay at the top of the beer world, they will be putting out a new beer that is microwavable. The 146-ye…

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Funny story: Missouri Has Just Outlawed Penis Flashing

Missouri Has Just Outlawed Penis Flashing

JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri – (Satire News) – Missouri has been known as “The Show Me State” for 201 years. Back in 1993, a group of Republican state senators said that they wanted the state slogan changed since it was outdated as hell. They argue…

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Funny story: Missouri Reports That The Most Popular Word in The State is "Vagina"

Missouri Reports That The Most Popular Word in The State is "Vagina"

JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri – (Satire News) – After conducting an extensive study at a cost of $675,000, to the Missouri taxpayers, the “Show Me” state has just announced the results. A spokesperson for the state, Jonas Quickfoot, 63, stated that the…

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Funny story: Missouri Bans the Anagram Letters LMAO

Missouri Bans the Anagram Letters LMAO

JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri – (Satire News) – After receiving a petition with over 2.3 million names, the Missouri state senate has voted to prohibit the use of the anagram letters LMAO. The vote against the “Laughing My Ass Off” anagram was a close…

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Funny story: Lots of Shy People Refuse To Use The Name Horny Toad

Lots of Shy People Refuse To Use The Name Horny Toad

(NOT EDITED) JOPLIN, Missouri – (Satire News) – A survey taken by professors at Left Coast College in Carpinteria, California, found that in Fly-By-States such as Iowa, Kansas, and Missouri, lots of shy citizens refuse to use the name horny toad, due…

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Funny story: Missouri Man Loses His Poetic License

Missouri Man Loses His Poetic License

Bart Wilkes of St. Louis, Missouri, suffered a major cramp in his verbal style when his poetic license was revoked due to overuse. "So unfair," said Bart. "For a published - well, self-published - poet who's won major awards - well, once won first...

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Funny story: "They Let Anyone Into the Hancock High School Hall of Fame These Days," Athletic Director Complains

"They Let Anyone Into the Hancock High School Hall of Fame These Days," Athletic Director Complains

LEMAY, MO--An outraged John Dupree, Athletic Director for Hancock Senior High School, called reporters into his office Thursday to make known his anger with what he feels is the growing ease to which alumni have been elected to the Hancock High Schoo...

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Funny story: Obummer "bummed" about Ferguson

Obummer "bummed" about Ferguson

WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- In a White House rose garden interview, as he sipped mint juleps and was fanned by "aides," President Barack Obummer lamented the fact that he is "bummed" about the "Ferguson" incident, the shooting of African-American thief...

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Funny story: Kansas, Missouri, and Iowa Have Banned Lady Gaga Concerts

Kansas, Missouri, and Iowa Have Banned Lady Gaga Concerts

WATERLOO, Iowa - Three Midwest states have just given notice that they are officially banning Lady Gaga from performing in their states. A spokesperson for Iowa stated that Lady Gaga's Vomit Act, which she performed at the SXSW Festival in Austin...

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Funny story: New Reality Series: "Normal People Leading Normal Lives" in Fall T.V. Line-up

New Reality Series: "Normal People Leading Normal Lives" in Fall T.V. Line-up

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Frustrated by the dropping ratings for reality shows that feature bizarre, illegal, or extreme behavior, one American Network has decided to do a "180" and focus on Normal People Leading Normal Lives, which is also the name of...

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Funny story: SEC Continues Football Dominance by Winning Gay Football National Championship

SEC Continues Football Dominance by Winning Gay Football National Championship

As most of America is well aware now, Michael Sams, Defensive Back from the University of Missouri, recently came out publicly and stated that he is gay and has been during his time with Mizzou. This was a landmark event because there has never been...

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Funny story: The #3 Ranked Auburn Tigers Beat The #5 Ranked Missouri Tigers And Are Now Headed For The National Championship Game

The #3 Ranked Auburn Tigers Beat The #5 Ranked Missouri Tigers And Are Now Headed For The National Championship Game

ATLANTA - The Auburn Tigers defeated The Missouri Tigers in the Georgia Dome to capture The Southeastern Conference Title. In what was called an old-fashioned shootout by Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine the Tigers of Auburn came ou...

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Funny story: A Missouri Chicken Farmer Has Trained His Chickens To Do An Amazing Feat

A Missouri Chicken Farmer Has Trained His Chickens To Do An Amazing Feat

HANNIBAL, Missouri - Elmo Tuggletint, 53, has been raising egg-laying hens for over 30 years and in that time he has seen some very interesting things. He recalls back in October of 1994, seeing one of his prized chickens, Linda Lou, lay an amazin...

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Funny story: Missouri Bans Facial Tattoos

Missouri Bans Facial Tattoos

JEFFERSON CITY, Missouri - The state known as The Show Me State has just voted to ban the practice of facial tattoos. State Senator Dominic Crackerwine [R-Joplin] stated that the state senate vote was 23-11 in favor of doing away with the facial i...

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Funny story: Todd Akin To Build "Berghof West" in Missouri: Adolph Hitler's Residence Serves as Model

Todd Akin To Build "Berghof West" in Missouri: Adolph Hitler's Residence Serves as Model

Special to TPN - Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) is building a new summer home atop Taum Sauk Mountain, the highest point in Missouri. Rep. Akin is known famously as the one who clarified the difference between "rape" and "legitimate rape." To his credit, he a...

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Funny story: Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat

In an effort to solidify support in the Midwest, Mitt Romney held a press conference in Jefferson City, Missouri, to address what he called a "glaring gap" in Republican policy: nutrition. Romney told carnivorous voters that Missouri, the second-lead...

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Funny story: Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

Rare Outbreak of Raccoon Alcoholism in Rural Missouri

PUXICO, MO- Last weekend a Puxico resident noticed peculiar behavior among some of the furry critters that live on his farm. The raccoons were displaying signs of increased aggression, momentary fatigue, and a lack of hygiene. The local wildlife serv...

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