An investigation into the Miss Universe Beauty Pageant has revealed that contestants are always from planet earth. Years of documents going back to the event's inception have reportedly been uncovered, all of which show a consistent pattern of exclus...
CRANBERRY, Pennsylvania - The 2012 contestant who represented the state of Pennsylvania in The Miss USA Beauty Pageant, Sheena Monnin has just had the surprise of her fake smile life. Miss Monnin [Pronounced MOAN-IN] has been ordered by a judge to...
MANHATTAN - It appears by all accounts that the former Miss Pennsylvania, Sheena Junglevina Monnin, has gone into the nation's Witness Protection Program. The WPP is usually only reserved for members of the Mafia after they turn state's evidence a...
While another Miss USA contestant has come forward saying she heard Miss Florida Karina Brez reveal the list of the completion's finalists backstage before the pageant's Top 15 were even announced, Miss Cellulite, 43 year old waitress Maggie Flab say...
TROUT RUN, Pennsylvania - The former Miss Pennsylvania, Sheena Junglevina Monnin, was at a local Burger Bandit signing autographs with the purchase of a Burger Bandit Burger Combo Deal. She was asked by Taffeta Kixx with iRumors if she plans to ap...
Las Vegas - An abandoned rats' nest teetering on foreclosure is how critics of pageant coiffure have summed up some contestants' hairdos ahead of this year's Fathers Day extravaganza. "That backcombed peroxide big hair look is still incredibly pop...
"Nah, that bitch ain't all that," Miss Mildred Gates, the Second Runner-up and winner of Miss Hideously Ugly Arkansas, bitterly complained during a post-pageant dust-up involving several of the contestants. "I'll be takin' this to the top!" she angr...
While the current Miss Michigan and now Miss USA title holder, Rima Fakih remains embroiled in controversy over her past photographic exploits, millions of men across America now reluctantly admit to having intimate relations with Miss Michigan.
Rima Fakih, the new Miss USA, won a stripping contest sponsored by Detroit radio station, it is being reported this morning. "It's true, I've seen the pics. They will be all over the net and in the tabloids by tomorrow morning", an insider told us...
LAS VEGAS - The winner of the 2010 Miss USA is Miss Michigan, Rima Fakih [pronounced: FUK-Ing]. The native of Arabia beat out 48 other American girls for the coveted title of Donald Trump's pageant. One of the judges, Minnesota Vikings quarterback...
Los Angeles, California - As the now former Miss USA's scheduling records will eventually prove, if ever they are released under this politically charged atmosphere not experienced since the Salem witch-burning saga during the colonial era of pre-Ame...
London, England - Drinknation.com has just the changed the famous cocktail drink "Sex on The Beach" to "Carrie Prejean Spontaneous Boob Shots." All the ingredients are pretty much the same: 2 oz. Cranberry Juice, 2 oz. Orange Juice, 2 oz. Pineapple...
The winner of the Miss USA pageant, is in danger of losing her crown because of her controversial opinion about the Sci-Fi classic film "Alien Versus Predator." In a recent interview, while discussing one of her favorite movies, she answered a que...
LOS ANGELES - Miss California says that she is so mad that Perez Hilton ambushed her during The Miss USA telecast with his 'gay question' that she has decided to move to Wyoming where there are no gay people. Perez Hilton who is an avowed 'gay guy...
Hollywood, California - In an interview on the "Today" TV show infamous celebrity gossip blogger/political activist/expert beauty queen judge, Perez Hilton, said people named Jesus offend him. Speaking on behalf of Jews, Muslims and Atheists ever...
Las Vegas, Nevada - Folding to political correctness faster than a Chinaman can fold shirts at a Chinese Laundromat in Chinatown, Miss California US runner-up, Carrie Prejean, announced today that she no longer opposes same-sex marriages. Her stateme...
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba - Miss Universe and Miss USA have taken a firsthand look at the U.S. prison for terrorism suspects and 7-11 gas station owners at Guantanamo Bay. The beauty pageant winners took part in a VIP tour to entertain American militar...
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