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Funny satire stories about Michael Chertoff

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Funny story: Chertoff reaches out to disaster victims

Chertoff reaches out to disaster victims

Yesterday, Michael Chertoff authorized a major military air-lift to evacuate victims of this weekend's disaster. He said, "These poor people are in such sorry states that it would be criminal if no one helped them. It is the only humane thing to do...

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Funny story: Shadows Are Terror Threat, Chertoff Announces

Shadows Are Terror Threat, Chertoff Announces

WASHINGTON - Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff has announced plans to use spy satellites, drone aircraft, and surveillance cameras to track the movements and activities of anyone who casts a shadow.

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Funny story: Homeland Insecurity chief Chertoff tipped for Gonzo's post

Homeland Insecurity chief Chertoff tipped for Gonzo's post

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Trying to find a perfidious, incompetent, self-preserving, justice-perverting douchebag to equal or better Alberto Gonzales's record is no mean feat but DC sources tonight are confident that Homeland Insecurity chief M...

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Funny story: Chertoff Homeland Security Gut War

Chertoff Homeland Security Gut War

Michael Chertoff's announcement of a "gut feeling" or "feeling in his gut" that the U.S. may be struck again by Al Qaeda terrorists should be commended and not subject to criticism by knit picking, hair splitting, cuff scoffin...

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Funny story: American Idol Prompts Threat Level Increase

American Idol Prompts Threat Level Increase

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security increased the nation's threat level to "Lavender" following the elimination of Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol Tuesday night.

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Funny story: Inscription on Statue of Liberty to change

Inscription on Statue of Liberty to change

NY (SN) - President Bush announced today that the inscription on the Staue of Liberty will be changed in order to combat illegal immigration and terrorism. The inscription currently reads:...

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