Today the world's media gathered, all seven elderly Caucasian men, to discuss headline news which "will happen" in 2017. The seven, representing 98.3% of the planets mainstream news' outlets, met at Chappaqua, New York in a palatial summer resid...
Donald Trump caused a global media frenzy over his latest tweet, "OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPETY DOO", leading to Martial Law being declared in eighty countries overnight. With DEFCON II about to be formally declared, mass civil unrest and hysteria seems...
(Editor's note: This article is in response to recent concerns about the Second Amendment, and should be interpreted as part of a wider debate, especially on gun control. This article was passed along from a deep thinker who uses a pseudonym. -- Edit...
Fans of Star Wars actor Leonard Nimoy who was buried in Los Angeles in a small, private funeral on Sunday are said to be enraged after one man dared to call the actor "a one trick pony". Nimoy, 83, who died on Friday of chronic obstructive pulmon...
Public health officials have acknowledged the possibility that anyone could contract Ebola just by surfing the web; widening the possibility that anyone even just reading this article has probably contracted the killer disease. According to "Chubb...
Executives emerged from an emergency owners meeting of the National Football League, determined to stay ahead of the pressure to adopt politically correct names, which is non-existent, except where hyped by the media. Some teams are more under th...
Paula Deen is on the comeback trail and has asked the public to forgive her for the racist comments that decimated her career last year. "Listen ya'all, I know I came across as a bit of a racist last year, what with all the bad publicity and what...
If it's been more than a day without Kim Kardashian in the headlines, it must be time for another publicity stunt. The actress/model/whateveryoucallher was on a fabricated red carpet event for a European launch of her new perfume, when a female atte...
NEW YORK, NY--Tropical storm Irene, formally known as Category 1 Hurricane Irene, took time to address reporters in-between rain showers today, saying that she felt the attention given to her was largely unwarranted, citing her largely manageable...
When a major Los Angeles freeway was scheduled to be closed for an entire weekend the media labeled the event, "car-mageddon". As in, the end of the world … for L.A. drivers. As usual, the end of the world, at least in L.A., as hyped by the media, did not occur. What would media reporting be for the end of the world scenarios in other daily life situations? How about Armageddon related news re...
Despite an extensive and prolonged media effort, last nights top of the table clash turned out to be a slightly underwhelming nil-nil draw, of the type that makes well adjusted football fans shrug philosophically and Alan Green explode in self-righte...
The world of football was stunned last night when, tired, stressed and under pressure, a football manger made a slightly one-eyed and ill-judged comment. Bill McBain, who had just seen his team lose two points in a crucial relegation battle follow...
Another song, Mr/Ms reader. How about a rant? Everyone does a rant-y song. "@TheMedia" FUCK! Nothing makes sense, Ain't gonna think about it, All these events, Are reported so wierdly, it just confuses me, Builds things up, Break them down, Fooling the uneducated, Twisting those who aren't, The news is what you make it, You make it wrong, Blood-thirsty, Libelous, Mosquitoes...
PERTH, Australia - Tiger Woods is perched atop a massive iceberg more than twice the size of New York's Manhattan island and is now drifting slowly toward Australia, scientists announced on Wednesday. The golf phenomenon cleaved himself from the p...
HOUSTON, TX - Michael Jackson's personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, self-administered the powerful anesthetic propofol in an amount that nearly killed him today, said a source close to the investigation of the singer's death. The Texas-based ca...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With an estimated 95% of Americans receiving swine flu case count updates at least once every five minutes, the US Government and news media have declared their circle of fear to be nearly complete. "Just a few more days, and we...
Today we can sensationally reveal that the family of a famous dead person are devastated at their passing. After literally hours of extensive research (mostly conducted in the business lounge at London's Heathrow Airport waiting for the next service...
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