NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News). Most of the nation’s political pundits agree that Trump’s chances of getting re-elected are now slim to none. One pundit with Tittle Tattle Tonight said that he believes that 93-year-old Betty White has a better chan…
The famous table bearing that all time US favorite diplomatic tool "all options are on the table" is showing some signs of strain and decay. Engineers are busy supplying reinforcements to it, including corner reinforcements and foundational suppor...
Breaking: A new surveillance op is underway in the US via the garbage truck industry (“Streamline Disposal! We’ve Got Your Crap! Inc.”). All trash is now routinely scanned, sniffed, linked, filed, and joined to facial recognition software at a cus...
West Miami, Fl - Florida Republican Senator Marco Rubio was caught by his neighbors playing with his sword on his front lawn. Rubio was wearing only a rainbow designed Speedo and high healed booties. The spectacle began after midnight. The former...
Marla Maples will open the proceeding singing:My Man. If there is a standing ovation, she will encore using the Little Fish routine she performed in the Dancing With The Stars contest, even though the routine followed with her elimination. It m...
Washington, D.C.: Sources close to presumed nominee Donald Trump state that Trump is already considering nominees for his cabinet if he wins the presidency. With presumed Chief of Staff Corey Lewandowski at the helm, Lewandowski is certain to push...
If you haven't already guessed, the 2016 election is really a Woody Allen film plot. Donald Trump, to be portrayed by Alec Baldwin, is a closet Democrat and a Hillary Clinton supporter, portrayed by Angela Lansbury. Donald never wanted to be pres...
BILLINGSGATE POST: A confident Donald Trump vowed to wear a pink Hillary pantsuit in the next debate if he is defeated by Little Marco in the Florida primary tomorrow. The counter-punching billionaire, stung by Little Marco's reference to his sma...
The media is calling it the most disgusting debate in the history of US political campaigns! Last night at the GOP debate, the 2016 campaign for Pre3sident of the United States reached a new low in this year of rude, crude and unattractive democra...
Last night's Republican debate in Detroit was only half the story. Our intrepid Senior Reporter, Dale Petrie has a nose for news, which fortunately for him was plugged, because to get the real dirt, he hid in the restroom at the Fox Theater. Here is...
Detroit, MI--After Donald Trump revealed at the Republican debate that he was "huge," in response to Marco Rubio's implicit criticism of the size of his genitals, all of the candidates now vying for the Republican nomination are being asked to releas...
WASHINGTON, D. C.--The Constitution was found dead last Thursday evening in a back alley, its bullet-ridden body soaked in blood. Suspiciously, article five of the Constitution, which begins, "The Congress, whenever two thirds of both houses shall d...
Yes, it's his charisma! Donald Trump has charisma. At the last debate, Donald Trump stood masterfully like an elephant between a Chihuahua and the Canadian Mr. Sleaze. Editor's note: Isn't Canadian Mr. Sleaze an oxymoron? Looks more like an ep...
Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio confused Meet the Press viewers and its moderator Chuck Todd on Sunday with his overuse of negatives in response to questions regarding fault for the 9/11 attacks. Todd asked repeatedly that Rubio clarify. Essentially the exchange went like this: Todd: "Are you putting 9/11 on Clinton?" Rubio: "No. I am putting it on Clinton." Rubio's failure...
Who's afraid of Donald Trump? Seems like most of the folks in the Republican party. He recently was overheard to have said that Osama bin Laden was still alive and that he spoke to him. Not dead! But Seal Team 6 finished him off and there was a...
The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into...
Senator Marco Rubio, known for his lack of scientific training, was quoted as using the disclaimer for what might end up being one too many times. Rubio has been quoted as using "I am not a scientist" in response to the following questions: "...
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