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Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

Funny story: Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

After claiming that his team does not have enough "mad dogs", Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho now blames his team's flaccid performances on being vaccinated against rabies. Moaning Maureen has also accused France midfielder Paul Pogba of b...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho Warning, Motherwell "Bawbag", Sol Campbell, (Kan)Ye West vs Frank Skinner

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Warning, Motherwell "Bawbag", Sol Campbell, (Kan)Ye West vs Frank Skinner

Before their Champions League match against Young Boys, so-called Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, warned his players "if you can't cope with playing at Old Trafford, then go home and watch the match on TV, just like me". BBC Sport has re...

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Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief

Funny story: Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief

According to England Manager Gareth Southgate after Sunday's win against Croatia, Harry Kane "is the best goal scorer in the world. If only he could do it when it really matters". Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has sanctioned funds for the Mag...

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UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United

Funny story: UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United

The Special One, watching a video of a young goalkeeper being pushed back into his goal by his dad as the ball rolled towards the empty net, has decided the boy has 'special talents', just like him, and has signed him! The dad, a staunch Liverpoo...

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Manchester City v. Manchester United Big Match Preview

Funny story: Manchester City v. Manchester United Big Match Preview

There'll be a lot at stake when the two teams take the field in Sunday's Premier League encounter between Manchester City and Manchester United at the City of Manchester Stadium, not least the three points the victors will attain at the end of the co...

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Football Gossip: Nasri, "Cocky" Tottenham, Mourinho As Usual, Aberdeen

Funny story: Football Gossip: Nasri, "Cocky" Tottenham, Mourinho As Usual, Aberdeen

West Ham is thinking of signing 31-year-old former Arsenal and Manchester City midfielder Samir Nasri. The French international is a free agent after serving an 18-month drugs ban. A club officlal defended the idea, saying "the London Taxpayers' Stad...

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Football Gossip: Hoddle, Mourinho again, Women's World Cup, Forest Green Vegans

Funny story: Football Gossip: Hoddle, Mourinho again, Women's World Cup, Forest Green Vegans

Former England and Tottenham manager Glenn Hoddle has been "overwhelmed" by the support shown for him since falling ill on Saturday. His family denies that Hoddle's heart attack has anything to do with god and Hoddle's views on the disabled that "Som...

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Thai Cave Boys Told To Stay In Their Seats At Old Trafford

Funny story: Thai Cave Boys Told To Stay In Their Seats At Old Trafford

The twelve boys who were rescued after becoming trapped in a cave in Thailand in July, have been invited to today's Premier League match between Manchester United and Everton at Old Trafford, and have been warned to stay in their seats. The boys,...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt Continues, Sir Philip Green, Chelsea, Xavi, Guardiola

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt Continues, Sir Philip Green, Chelsea, Xavi, Guardiola

Jose Mourinho has been warned by Manchester United's owners that his outbursts are damaging the club's worldwide reputation. They want to return to the calm, reasonable, expletive-free days of Sir Alex Ferguson. Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich who...

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Scholes And Ferdinand's Pining Punditry

Funny story: Scholes And Ferdinand's Pining Punditry

Manchester United legends Paul Scholes and Rio Ferdinand have again been reminiscing fondly of bygone times following a football match. Now BT Sport pundits, the pair were commenting on Juventus' 1-0 victory at Old Trafford in the Champions League...

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Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

Funny story: Harry Maguire To Feature On New £50 Note?

The news that the government has reversed its decision to scrap the £50 note, has met with cheer, and a call from football fans to include upon the note the face of England player, Harry Maguire, the team's hero at the Russia World Cup. The note...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Manhunt latest, Blatter, Tottenham and Messi

Under fire Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho made his feelings clear when told that he has been charged over comments he made in Portuguese to a TV camera after his side's win over Newcastle on 6 October. After consulting a lip reader, the FA s...

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FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

Funny story: FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points

The Football Association has announced that, in order to "address the perceived unfairness in domestic football", it will introduce a new scheme whereby teams that 'should have won' will be awarded the three points. The scheme will be operated by...

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Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Funny story: Football Gossip: Scotland, Mourinho, England, Usain Bolt

Scotland head coach Alex McLeish urged his young players to show him they've "got a pair" against Israel on Thursday. After their shambolic defeat he apparently lined them all up in the dressing room and used calipers to measure their tackle before s...

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"Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Funny story: "Manhunt Victim" Mourinho to Adopt "Tactics By Consensus"

Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, insists he can "cope with the manhunt" against him as he was forced to admit that Saturday's match against Newcastle was a fiasco, with his team 2-0 down after 10 minutes. Denying rumours that he had consu...

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Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

Funny story: Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi

The sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, is that, after their worst start to a Premier League season for 29 years, Manchester United have put their manager, Jose Mourinho, into a sack. That is, he's been sacked - 'in my mind'.

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Manchesters Marketing Reach

As crisis club Manchester United lurch from one disaster to another on the pitch, their marketing team have been adding dozens of feathers to their already impressively-feathered cap. Moments after United’s impressively-tepid 0-0 draw with Valenci...

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Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho, Villa, Kanye West

Following news that Manchester United faces UEFA charges over their late arrival for the Valencia home Champions League game, coach Jose Mourinho has been forced to deny that his team refused to leave the dressing room until he promised to say nice t...

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Breaking news…

The House of Representatives Passes First Bill: Build a Wall...

...around the Oval Office.
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