Washington DC - (Lunatics): A nine-year-old girl from London was the first human on the moon according to declassified US state secrets behind the Apollo 11 hoax. It sent President Richard Nixon apocalyptic with rage as the landing news reached t...
Washington - Senators with relations committed in Israel have been told to stay dead schtum ahead of next week's great big blood-red eclipsed full moon just as Passover starts on Monday night. An extremely rare Sun-Earth-Moon-Mars alignment that h...
Washington - "Uh, it's like a massive asteroid suddenly materializing on Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel frescoes, Mr President," the curator of the NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory said today at a top secret conference about the US going bust. Prof...
Hollywood, Ca - Known by its folklore name of The Beaver tomorrow's eclipsed Gemini Full Moon is causing havoc among Hollywood celebs who flock regularly to Prof Einstein Flintstone's therapisst's couch. "Should have called it the Split Beaver Fo...
Indonesia - The Pacific Ring of Fire was shaken by a 6.1 tremor today just as the eclipsed Sagittarius full moon's shadow path crossed the equator. "The area is notorious for over-reacting to astrological phenomena," a spokesperson for the World G...
London - The eclipsed Sagittarius Full Moon promises to drive people bonkers with a compulsory extra day's holiday and other Government bollox. Astrologers call it the Strawberry Fool Moon on account of supermarket scams to make shoppers cough up...
London - At their 'Fourth Protocol' bunker at RAF Valley in Anglesey, Wales, Kate and Wills are having none of it, of course. Daft superstitions hold no fear for this royal gravy train branch line whose own wedding took place on the 66th annivers...
Iran - Sufi mystics living in Iran's dodgy seismic fracture zones fear a Grand Ayatollah's curse on illicit moonshine could trigger a massive quake this weekend. A powerful total lunar eclipse will see the moon's shadow path cross volatile tectoni...
Fukushima - Is it a bird, is it a plane...or is it a luminescent mutant bee swarm mimicking a UFO? The strange aerial formation was spotted high above Fukushima's tsunami-ravaged nuclear power complex during Wednesday's eclipsed full moon penumbra...
New York - Millions of bees are converging on New York ahead of Wednesday's lunar eclipse. Swarms have been spotted flying in bizarre geometric formations likened to crop circle patterns seen in the UK's Wiltshire/Hampshire UFO beltway. Yesterd...
The government has admitted it is powerless to prevent councils from basing their refuse collections around the lunar cycle, despite earlier promises suggesting weekly collections would remain in place for the foreseeable future. Communities secre...
New York - A mystery underwater craft has been spotted close to the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge by New York Harbor ahead of Wednesday's lunar eclipse. Observers say it may have been surveying the site of a shelved 1990s project to build a massive $40...
Berkshire - A new twist beckons on the June 1st solar eclipse that fooled Queen Elizabeth into backing her third-rate Derby no-hoper Carlton House. Wednesday's eclipsed full moon is likely to do just as much damage to royal mug punters determined...
Local outdoor enthusiasts ran across what turns out to be an ancient Indian text while snipe hunting in the Horse Heaven Hills just north of Paterson, Washington. Bruce and Velma Ferberger (of Goldendale) thought they had helped Mother Nature by...
Pacific Ocean - (Tremors): A Winter solstice delirium tremens hit South Eastern Iran today. The 7.4 magnitude quake near the holy city of Bam also triggered a seismic tipple - er...ripple!- effect that battered Japan's Bonin Isles 1,000 km south o...
Disorientated by the lunar eclipse, Father Xmas smashed into an asteroid today and was luckily rescued by Russian cosmonauts. He is said to be relatively well and recovering from shock on board the Soyuz space station. NASA says Santa is likely t...
The first Lunar Eclipse for four hundred years to fall on a Winter Solstice has passed off without incident - so far. The last time that a full Lunar Eclipse occurred on a Winter Solstice was 1638. This heralded the start of a war between Scotland...
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