In a recent campaign by Help The Fogies, pensioners are being encouraged to fight back against the youngsters who traditionally terrorise them under the guise of a 'bit of fun'. Traditionally, in America, Trick or Treat is where children and menac...
Following allegations of catastrophic surgical procedures, detectives at Scotland Yard are anxious to locate Dublin neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem. Managers at Beaumont Hospital have distanced themselves from the consultant, telling police that "Mr B...
The heady days of measurable cerebral activity are over for brain implant recipient Louis Walsh, according to Senior Neurologist Willie Bodgem. After several desperate attempts to reconnect disrupted neurotransmitters, Bodgem emerged from Beaumont Ho...
Looking tired but relaxed, Louis Walsh emerged this afternoon from Beaumont Hospital with neurosurgeon Willie Bodgem at his side. Louis waved enthusiastically to no-one in particular as a Private Eye reporter waited, hungry for the first utterance fr...
X Factor Overlord Simon Cowell has finally broken his silence on Louis Walsh's controversial brain implant with characteristically blunt analysis. "Even with the brain of a hamster," mocked the Overlord, "Louis couldn't manage a band of teenage roden...
A spokesperson from Beaumont Hospital in Dublin confirmed that a small brain implant was successfully performed on X Factor judge Louis Walsh yesterday. The latest information from the hospital suggests that Walsh is recovering well after surgery.
Following Louis Walsh's surprising new hairstyle as seen on The X-Factor, details are now emerging of the controversial procedure he has undertaken to achieve the effect. And the scientist behind the process, Doctor Ronan Westboys, has spoken out ab...
Britain was reeling from the shock news this weekend that Simon Cowell's bush is shaped like his head. Topiarist to the stars Louie Spence said: "Yes it's true dahling, Simon asked me to shape his bush to look like his head. I was shocked at firs...
Simon Cowell, high trousered music mogul and inventor of the sarcastic put-down to already inferior people, has sensationally revealed the secret to his fantastic success in everything he does. Parsnips. That's right, parsnips. And lot's of them.
Television's flattest headed peddler of crap, Simon Cowell, is in advanced talks with the Queen in an attempt to convince her to be a judge on his new regality show, 'The HRH Factor'. Her majesty actually came up with the idea and pitched it to Co...
Winners of this year's X-Factor and Simon Cowell's new banking machine, or "Little Micks", as the four-girl group prefers to be known, have been revealed as love children of the entire X-Factor judging panel and more. Jade Thirlwall, who speaks a...
The Irish Ambassador to the UK has sought urgent talks with Prime Minister David Cameron over the final group in this year's X-Factor, a popular television talent show famed for premium rate telephone voting and pointless competitions, clueless judge...
Claims that the X-Factor is a fix have been hotly refuted by Simon Cowell and the self-important and always-nailing-it judges of the 'competition'. Despite bookies refusing to take bets on Misha B or Marcus, who will be the two finalists in this y...
The world of showbiz was today rocked to it's very foundations, to its actual core, in fact (get on with it - Editor) er, ok, er with the threatened possibility of a Westlife reunion. Still reeling from the non-split in 2004 when Brian McFadden qu...
The storm surrounding the sensational sacking of Cheryl Cole from American X Factor shows no signs of abating this morning, with the rumour mill working overtime processing and devouring snippet after snippet concerning the amazing axeing of the UK's...
Girls Aloud have confirmed they are ready to record their next album without Cheryl Cole. The four less famous members, Sarah Harding, Kimberley Walsh, Nadine Coyle and the other one have admitted they can't wait around forever to see whether Cher...
Louis Walsh is said to be furious that Simon Cowell is allowing the UK X-Factor to 'crumble' to pieces. He is furious over Cowell's lack of commitment to the UK show and his preoccupation with the US X-Factor. Both Louis and Dannii are furious...
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