MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - The fella who many say makes Jack The Ripper look like a Vatican choirboy is having a fuckalicious fit trying to find a lawyer to represent him. The Drive Thru News Agency reports that there isn't a decent, ho…
NEW YORK CITY – Word coming out of the Ivory Tower at the Fair and Balanced Network is that the powers-that-be are not at all happy with one Judge Jeanine Pirro. And the reason for Fox News honchos being unhappy, is because Judge Pirro, who was te...
BEL AIR, California – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette reports that Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, are truly enjoying getting to rub elbows with the Hollywood elite. The happy couple recently had dinner with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston a...
I A little background is required before I embark on my first lobster tale. I came from a middle-class family and my paternal grandparents were at the upper limit of the socioeconomic boundary, but as immigrants, lived quite modestly. My grandmother...
When first invited to attend the Cajun Crawfish Fest in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, crawfish Caleb Mattingly was extremely gratified to learn that his fellow Louisianans so appreciated his contribution to the eco-diversity of the bayou regions that they'...
A 22 year old lobster named Bubba was caught off the shores of Nantucket, MA and shipped to Wholey Market, a Pittsburgh fish market. Some people claim that it is more than 100 years old making it old enough to have seen 2 world wars and Prohibition.
Onlookers rejoiced recently when Louie the lobster, having lived the last 30 years of his life in a tank at a Long Island restaurant, was finally set free and returned to the ocean. But Louie is not a totally happy camper and has revealed that he...
"My weight is nobody's business but mine," huffed the lobster, in an interview with a reporter from The Spoof. The lobster continued, "It's an outrage. How would you like it if YOUR weight were the subject of discussion the world over?" And he's appalled at all the fat shaming on social media since he's been caught and brought onto land, "Why can't people just mind their own business?" he aske...
The Rt Hon Iain Duncan Smith's early evening meal was rudely interrupted by a Capital Radio's phone in winner Sid Eccles yesterday at Hoorays restaurant in WC1. Mr Eccles, long term unemployed and father of seven kids, was there enjoying a 'no h...
ORLANDO, Florida - Red Lobster Spokeswoman Bree Hugginharpee has just informed the news media of a change that the seafood franchise Red Lobster has decided to make. The company's board of directors decided that the company would keep the name Red...
A 22 pound lobster named Bubba was caught off the shores of Nantucket, MA and shipped to Wholey Market, a Pittsburgh fish market. Some people claim that the lobster is more than 100 years old, making it old enough to have seen two world wars and Proh...
MARINA DEL REY - Former Nickelodeon star and the latest celebrity train wreck to come out of Tinsel Town, Amanda Bynes was spotted at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner where she was literally attacking her Lobster meal with a fork and Ginsu knife. T...
BOSTON - The National Food Federation Agency has just issued a warning to seafood restaurant patrons in the state of Massachusetts. NFFA spokesperson Hal "Calories" Calafinster informed the news media that they have received dozens of reports from...
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Mountain Peak Pictures in association with Gladiator Films has just announced that filming will soon start on the new Staccato Monteverdi political porn film Binders Full of Women. Monteverdi told Pomona Vox with Silver Screen Sho...
Everyone has heard of the Yeti, the hairy bipedal creature who is said to live in the colder regions on Earth. While scientists can't say for certain if the Yeti actually exists, they have come to the conclusion that there is such a creature as the...
A fisherman off the coast of Rhode Island was shocked last week when he caught a YELLOW lobster. Wha' happened? Theories abound: The color was caused by a bad case of hepatitis; the lobster lacks courage and has now officially been labeled a cow...
Dr Dolittle talks to Larry the Lobster in a seafood restaurant in San Francisco just half an hour before he was due to be served up for dinner. "What's it like being a lobster?" Asked Dr Dolittle. "Its OK," said Larry, "but I do miss my Mum And Dad, I was swimming away quite happily the other day when all of a sudden I was scooped up in a net along with a lot of other Lobsters and brought t...
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