Coming soon in America … Every child MUST own at least one gun. (Ask Santa for an AR-15, kids – they’re the best!) Every child MUST watch at least one cool and awesome TV show that features drug usage, violence, blood and guts, lots of Christi…
James Hetfield, leader singer of Metallica, has announced that the band will release a new album this summer. “Metallica Sings Mother Goose!” That’s right, Metallica will be doing all-heavy metal versions of your favourite nursery rhymes. “H…
A spokesman for the Fanatical Gun Association (FGA) gave a symbolic speech in Pistol, Texas which has a huge gun factory grinding out one AR-15 rifle every 5 seconds. “The U. S. has about 130 million civilian guns and they are still selling like c…
Elon Musk’s children are reportedly organizing a union in order to secure better parental care amid the frequent controversies of Elon Musk. Musk’s transgender child, has completed a name change stating the reason – “Gender identity and the fact t…
A Tesla electric car was given a test of its Robotic Self-Drive Mode by New Dawn, a non-profit Group. You just sit there playing cards or having sex (lady's choice), while the car goes to its destination. Unfortunately, in a real-world test,…
Opponents of a Republican assault on the Disney Company, the largest employer in the Sunshine State, warn the legislation is grooming children to pay higher taxes. “Florida Republicans got mad at Disney, and took revenge because the mouse roared i…
Although it is two days since he returned from the zoo, three-year-old Jacob still can’t decide on his favourite Penguin. Jacob’s Mum Elsie takes up the story ‘Jacob was in a bit of pickle when we asked him which of the Penguins he had seen was hi…
Ohio’s General Assembly is finally dealing with its discriminatory gun laws. Senator Bob Smith of Ass Backwards County sponsored a new law that extends gun rights to school children. According to Senator Smith a school group in his county petitio…
Although it is now more than thirty years since you left school, and you only go back to your home town at Christmas, the cool kid is still drinking in the same pub. Shane Worthington, 47, once had the eyes of all of the girls, and some of the boy…
Stuck between two generations at Christmas time, parents Alex and Felicity Chilblaine are now seen as being extremists by the two surrounding generations. ‘It was mad’ said Alex ‘Felicity and myself would class ourselves as fairly liberal, treat t…
Three and Half year old Jacob will always be scared of a strange old man visiting him at Christmas. The slightly odd chap, who asked for a globe and a kitchen appliance from Santa, had been a good boy, but the whole idea of a strange man in his ho…
There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.
In an effort to find that different thing to make their social media pics better than that trollop Tracey, who drops Zayn off wearing her pyjamas and parks her 4x4 on the zig zig lines, parents have been paying £24.99 for a breakfast with Scrooge.
A woman has shocked the business community – and her fellow mumpreneurs – by starting a business and managing not to name it after her two children, our sources can reveal. Andrea Mumford, 34, founder of bespoke baby clothes and comforter brand B…
Some House Democrats voted against the Infrastructure Bill because they felt the Bill should have provided childcare coverage. Listen up House members: Taxpayers were not in bed with the parents when parents decided to add a third child to their…
Stanley Bridgewater and his wife Shirley have to decide which of son's Thomas latest artistic squiggles to put on the fridge. 'Each day he comes home from school, and he always has these bits of paper that he is so proud of. He calls them his art…
Millenial Luke Cosgrove is shocked to learn that old people know a lot about the world as well. 'Like I was talking to my Dad the other day, and he was telling me all about Pink Floyd and the Beatles, and I was shocked to learn that he knew about…
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