LONDON – (Satire News) – England’s Ta Ta For Now News has just announced that the legendary Rolling Stones will start their postponed 2020 tour in late September of this year. TTFNN’s reporter Loretta Piffinshaw, who recently was awarded her house…
NEW YORK CITY – Mick Jagger and Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones flew to the USA and had a talk with their publishing company. The two Stones, who said that they’re drug-free, remarked that they are not happy with the fact that Trump’s campaig…
LONDON – The oldest living rock band in history has just released a music video that pundits are referring to as the eerily unofficial song of the C-19 pandemic. Lead singer Mick Jagger, 76, said that he changed the lyrics to their song "Ghost Tow...
In an interesting development in the meshing world of manufacturing and genetics, where the two are teaming up to to improve demand, no longer will extra earrings rely on body piercings! Extra ears are on the way! You can even choose to have ears lik...
Ancient rockers 'The Strolling Bones' (name changed for legal reasons) are releasing their ultimate album because being geriatric rockers is becoming very difficult. Jaggedone sent his fave rock CIA reporter, Pig Peel-Popup, undercover into their...
Ageing drug-addled rocker Keith Richards has announced the opening of an "exhilarating theme-park ride" in his garden shed. Richards, 94, held a brief press conference this afternoon. Tickets would be available in exchange for hard drugs, and cust...
Seventies heart throb, regular pretty boy and quite awful singer, David Cassidy, has admitted he forgot everything he ever sung whilst performing his pop "classics" recently live in California! Sad figure, David, even admitted to his many ageing f...
Wasilla, AKSarah Palin announced that she would be forming her own party and running for president in 2018. She was then informed that 2018 isn't an election year and changed it to 2017. Upon releasing the news about the party, the first people sh...
Pago Pago Fledgling rock star wannabe Justin Bieber was going about minding his own business in a dark bar when a smelly old man who smelled like alcohol and urine challenged him to have a drink with him. Beiber assumed it was just one of his Bel...
New York - "I spent my formative years staring at vids of Keith Richards crashed out on the living room couch," reclusive Central Park vagrant Wally Richards said today, "it's what inspired me to a life of booze and drugs." The comments come amid...
Lorde's newest songs have been leaked ot the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander's latest songs. The source says "Little White Yugos" is likely to be at least a moderate success on the pop charts. "All the...
Following Monday's sell out Strolling Bones Concert, the police were called to an old peat bog near the Rock Venue. At first, due to the proximity of the site to Ireland's premier Venue, It was thought that Inebriated Concert Band members had fallen...
New York - - A private food elevator servicing the 18th/19th floor Greenwich Village penthouse has a direct link to kitchens at Otto's Pizzeria situated on the ground floor of the 1 Fifth Avenue apartment block realtors said today. "It's one of t...
SOCHI, Russia - The Sochi Organizing Olympics Committee has just made an announcement regarding the XXII Winter Olympics closing ceremony. SOOC Spokeswoman Tula Tambova has stated that the Rolling Stones will be performing at the closing ceremonie...
Special to TPN - Special assistant Goober Flatus announced that New Jersey governor Chris Christie has chosen the curse words to be used in his second inaugural speech following the swearing-in ceremony on Tuesday, January 21. "The governor has worke...
LONDON - Mick Jagger, lead singer with The Rolling Stones recently spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippie-Ki-Yay Magazine and hinted that the Rolling Stones are considering relocating to Colorado, the marijuana haven of the North American continent. Jagg...
NEW YORK CITY - A representative for the Rolling Stones recently met with Kanye West's business manager at New York's famed Trump Tower. The two met to discuss the British band acquiring the rights to Kanye's album titled Kanye West's Tribute To T...
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